Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 76857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
But I was fighting to remember my choices that day might define my next ten years. Still, I growled, “I used to dream of painting my talons pink just to piss you off. Hiding in my room with prohibited magazines, sewing a dress from rags in the dark.” Anger glittering in my dark eyes, I hissed, “You destroyed my dress.”
Obliterated it to shreds. For all I knew, it was still on his floor.
Hovering over his lips, I added, “I want a new one that does not make me feel ashamed.”
“Lorieyn.” Tucking my hair behind my ear, he cupped my cheek. Tender, he murmured, “This will get easier.”
Would it? Perhaps. “Miranda spoke of you as if you were some kind of god to our people. I’ve seen it myself, the deference you received from instructors and watchers. It’s in your eyes. That is not the stare of a sane man.”
Dragging his thumb over my lips, he said, “Everything I did was done out of love.”
“Obsession and love are not the same thing. Even I know that.” What a strange conversation to have bare-breasted and straddling a naked man who could do far worse than deny me the fog. He could deny me any freedom at all.
Abandoning his throat, I moved my touch over his collarbone, stroked his pectoral, and sought a hard abdomen—tracing his musculature as if learning his secrets, seeking weaknesses I could exploit.
Under me was a body I could touch any way I chose—a man I had been intimate with in acts that would have been incomprehensible to me a week prior.
A man my very wellbeing relied on now.
“Miranda told me you are a general who fought in an arena for human amusement and hybrid clout. She told me you defeated thousands for your rank. What kind of nightmare life would I have known if you had taken me at twelve? Who would I have grown up to be? You waited… and went mad, forcing every recruit to suffer in recompense.” I went back to those eyes, those unhinged, unblinking green eyes. “You’ve done unspeakable things, Cyderial.”
He sought my compassion. “There is so much you do not understand about the world.”
“So I’ve heard.” Leaning back, having denied him a willing kiss, I shook my head. “Still, I would not have terrified children.”
He caught my wrist, pulling me closer to steal the kiss I refused him. Once it was done, he breathed over my lips. “I needed you to be strong. We are on the brink of war with the humans. Is that what you would have me tell children? That they might never grow up at all? That human males traffic hybrid little girls? That human females will work to seduce unmated males for the novelty of hybrid cock? That they will turn on each other just as soon as they will turn on us? Even as my mate, you will be propositioned by overreaching men. They will want to know what color your slit is. Is it pink? Blue? Purple—that is quite rare. On the black market, you would fetch a high price. Some will try to mislead you, offer favors for our kind if you will let them have a quick fuck behind closed doors. Before we trained the females to kill more than just vorec, mates were often raped. Sometimes en masse before cheering crowds. So the strongest of us gave them something else to cheer for. Pageantry and violence. When new generations began to see us as heroes, arena fights were made illegal. Men in power afraid we might be seen as more than cannon fodder or exotic pets.”
Defending myself against one man and his meat stick would not be a challenge on any level. Confused, I said, “But I am stronger than a human.”
Cupping my cheek, he looked upon me with so much love. “But there are so many more of them, Lorieyn. They keep breeding as if they’d already forgotten how humanity ruined the planet they left behind. The city is at capacity, and provisions are rationed. It has made them desperate to blame anyone but themselves. Desperate humans are vicious. Such men attack in groups or will wait until you are weak with heat. If you were left suffering long enough, you might mindlessly beg any male at all to ease your pain. I’ve seen recordings of such things. I’ve seen broken bodies. I’ve seen little girls damaged beyond repair. I will not put the burden of these thoughts in the heads of children, not when I can mold little ones into dangerous soldiers trained to defend themselves. If the humans suspected what I was doing within the academy….”
It was a slippery slope to make such a wide assumption about an entire species. I disagreed. “Humans are not all bad. Not one I have ever interacted with would give me the impression that—”