Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 103033 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103033 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Fuck. That one got to me.
I swallowed and closed the notebook as a swell of want soared within me. The most bizarre feeling—it was as freeing as it was crushing. Those damn doubts were responsible for the crushing feeling, because I couldn’t fucking lose him. Both of them. They’d given me a taste of what I’d lost hope of finding, and if all this was taken from me, I’d have nothing left but memories to shatter me every morning when I woke up to my harsh reality.
Except, my actual reality was the opposite of harsh, and I had to fucking stop thinking this was going to fail.
Before Gael came over to me, I noticed he jotted something down in a notebook I’d seen Joshua use, and I suspected it was related to my food.
“What are you and Joshua writing in that thing?” I wondered.
“Daddy asked me to do a nutrition estimate for every breakfast,” he responded frankly. “He drew a bunch of circles for me so I can turn each meal into a pie chart. It’s not super accurate—we just wanna make sure you get all the nutrition you need.”
They truly were taking over from Walker. Although, he’d definitely never drawn a pie chart over my sugar intake.
It was equal parts frustrating and endearing.
Maybe a bit more endearing than frustrating. They cared about me. With type 1 diabetes, I had less wiggle room than someone with type 2, and Joshua and Gael were adjusting. For me…it was the story of my life. I had to stay within the lines. Too much or not enough, and it could have disastrous consequences.
“You’re very sweet for fussing.” I reached out and stroked his lower back as he set my plate in front of me. With the coffee. My mouth watered. “I don’t suppose you’ll feel appeased by the fact that I know how to fend for myself.”
He offered a curious little grin in return. “It’s not about that, Master. Of course you can fend for yourself. So can Daddy and I. But now we wanna fend for each other, because we like the together stuff. You know?”
You know?
I exhaled a laugh and scrubbed a hand over my mouth and jaw.
I was being schooled by someone who’d been born during the Clinton administration.
Because we like the together stuff.
“Is everything okay, Sir?”
I smiled and shook my head at myself. “More than. On your knees, please.” I took a sip of my coffee, and Gael sank down to his knees on the floor next to my chair. “I’m just glad I have you and Joshua to remind me of the together stuff.”
With a bit of luck and a whole lot of patience, perhaps they could teach this old dog to sit.
A relationship wasn’t about what we could do on our own, but what we chose to do as a unit.
I was a damn fool sometimes—and that ended now. I’d promised Joshua I was all in, which I’d failed at showing him because my doubts had cautioned every step forward. That had to end too.
“You did a wonderful job with your homework, peach.” I combed my fingers through his hair, and he smiled up at me. “Beautiful boy. My only question now is what I can do for you—how I can be a great Master for you.” I touched his cheek. “When you hand over control to me, I want to take a weight off your shoulders as well.”
He scrunched his nose and squinted at me. “Surrendering control is a weight off my shoulders, Sir.”
A ridiculous smile broke out—I couldn’t help it, but damn if that wasn’t the most perfect response.
“I understand that part—but I mean something you struggle with or…I don’t know. Something you wish Daddy and I took care of for you.”
He put his thinking cap on and lowered his gaze. “Hmm.”
“You can think about it.” There was no rush. I tucked into my breakfast and remembered—Gael was trying to get closer to Lucian’s pet. “Maybe talk to Cameron? I take it you’re seeing him on Tuesday.”
“Yes, Master. For the pasta class. I can’t wait!”
His excitement was infectious. I couldn’t wait either—for evenings of watching Joshua and Gael together in the kitchen.
Like a flip of a switch, I was assaulted by dream scenarios of our future, and I wondered if it would be possible for Joshua to perhaps work less. Down the road, of course. But I knew he itched for more time to spend right here. He wanted a garden and shelter dogs and… It was all too easy to picture us living here together. At least I’d done well for myself, so if Joshua and Gael wanted to work part time and focus more on whatever hobbies they felt they couldn’t dedicate themselves to now…I would be very fine with that.
Dinner was the time of day I wanted us to gather around every day. Even more so since Gael and I were early risers, whereas Joshua was anything but, though I was the only one interested in breakfast at all. Joshua’s breakfast was lunch, and by then, Gael had eaten his cereal in front of the TV.