Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 68249 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68249 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
“Michael,” he repeated. “What did this Michael do that made you regret falling in love with him?”
This was good, even if it still kind of hurt to talk about it, it was good. If I told Jax about Michael, he’d understand when I said I didn’t believe in love anymore, that I didn’t want anything to do with it.
Love could only ruin my plans moving forward, for my business and for my baby. My baby. No one else’s.
I cleared my throat. “I was with him for five years, basically. He was my partner in life, and I thought in business. He wasn’t a dancer or anything, but he appeared to be super-supportive. All I wanted was for us to get married and have kids, you know? The whole suburban image, but he didn’t want that at all. He wanted to continue living our single life—just the two of us, I guess.”
“I see. You were engaged?”
“Yes. And I was desperate for us to have a baby, but he refused. That was his ultimatum, either we don’t have kids or he leaves. Kids were off the table.” It should’ve felt weird to talk to a stranger about this, but it didn’t.
Jax’s expression was impartial. He lifted his pizza slice and took another bite, chewing and listening.
I didn’t talk about this stuff often, not even with Ronny. It was refreshing to have someone listen without judgment. “I agreed. I’m eternally ashamed about the fact that I agreed, but I figured, and this is my fault, that I could convince him some day. That he’d eventually change his mind. He didn’t. I stayed with him. Things were… Well, you know when you’re in a relationship and you reach a status quo and you’re just sailing? Just cruising along and you’re comfortable? It was like that. Until it wasn’t anymore.”
Jax finished off his slice and wiped his lips again. “What changed?”
“He left me,” I said and swallowed hard. “Well, technically, he didn’t leave, he came right to the studio after my last class of the day and told me that our relationship was over. He asked for the ring back and then—” I broke off and grabbed my diet soda off the corner of the table. I glugged some of it back.
“You don’t have to go on,” Jax said, and it came out croaky, like a grunt, as if he could feel my pain.
“It’s good to talk about it.”
“Then do go on.”
“He told me that he’d fallen in love with someone else.”
“What a total bag of dickfucks.”
Not exactly the word that’d sprung to mind, but it worked great in this context. “That wasn’t even the best part. I mean, the worst part, whatever. Apparently, he needed the ring back to propose to her, because she was pregnant. And he was excited about it. He said that she was the one he’d been waiting for, and I was…nothing, basically. Just a means of passing time.”
Jax’s fists clenched. Veins popped out on the backs of his hands, and his knuckles whitened. “Where does he live?”
“What?”
“This Michael cunt, where does he live?”
“I have no idea. He ran off with his new fiancée, and good riddance,” I said, with more strength in my voice that I felt in my soul. “Obviously, he was a waste of time. Like I said, we were floating. It hurts, still, but I’ll survive. He was just a guy, but the truth is, I don’t really care about that stuff anymore. Love. I don’t believe in it. I don’t want it. I don’t want anything to do with it. It’s weak.”
Jax’s left eyebrow quirked upward, and his eyes sparkled. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I—I can’t risk feeling anything for anyone because it only leads to trouble.”
He chuckled, but there wasn’t much joy in the laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” Jax said. “You turn everything I thought I knew about women on its head. I like it.”
“Just as long as you don’t love it,” I replied, then clapped my hand to my mouth. “Sorry, that was presumptuous. Sometimes I don’t know when to quit talking. I don’t want you to think I’m being a bitch or that I think you feel anything for me. I think I—”
“Slow down, tommy gun, you’re fine.” He waved a hand at me.
I exhaled a sigh.
This man sent me from confident to nervous and back again so fast my head spun.
“I’m with you, Riley. I don’t believe in love either. I’ve never felt shit for anyone. I keep things simple. One night, maybe two, and then it’s over. Everyone’s satisfied, and things remain complication-free. Simple.”
“Exactly,” I said. “Well, OK. So, then you realize that I can’t afford to have sex with you again.” I got up and brushed off my yoga pants.
Jax rose too, and his good humor had returned in the form of a Cheshire Cat grin. “Riley, every time I walk into a room, your nipples try to escape your bra. I think it’s a little late to limit sex to just that one time. Like I said, one or two times, and then it’s done.” He winked.