Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
“I wish I could let you feel what I feel. I wish there was a way for you to know how seeing and loving you every day makes me feel, but also being with them took away the ache.”
Reid stood at the stove, stirring the sauce in the pan. “So, you’re what, going to play dad to them, and I’m going to do what? Share you with your ex? Like, I’ll get you two weeks out of the month?”
He wiped at his fallen tears. “No, Reid. Nothing like that, but I need to know them. To be in their life somehow. For the first time in a year, I felt complete.”
Her head snapped up, and she froze. Before she’d even turned and looked at him, he knew she was crying. “I’m supposed to be enough, Grayson,” she said, pointing at her chest. “We are supposed to be enough for each other.” Her hand motioned between them.
“You are.”
“But I’m not.” Her lower lip quivered. “They make you feel complete. Two strangers.”
“It’s not the same,” he told her. “I can’t explain it, but that feeling like something is wrong wasn’t there when I was with them.” Grayson moved closer. “I sat with them, listened to them tell me about their dad, how he died and how they felt. We had a tea party. They embraced me. Made me matter in their world.”
“I’m sure they were being polite,” Reid said.
He shook his head. “This was different.”
“You want it to be different so you’ll have an answer. You need it to be different so you can justify what you’re telling me.” Reid pushed past Grayson, heading into the other room.
“Reid.”
She spun around. “Why did you withhold the reason for your trip?”
Grayson hadn’t expected her to ask, although he should’ve. He ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. “Because I wanted to make sure my hunch was right.”
“And you couldn’t share that with me?”
“I thought you’d talk me out of it.”
“Does your ex know why you randomly showed up at her house?”
He shook his head slowly.
“Right, so you lied to the both of us. That’s lovely, Grayson.” Reid moved farther away from him. “You know what, you’re right. I would’ve talked you out of it, because what you did is wrong. You don’t lie to the people you love, and you certainly don’t show up at someone’s house under the guise of being in town and wanting to pay your respects. I don’t know what’s worse, lying to me or lying to a grieving wife and two little girls.”
“I know and I’m sorry, Reid. I truly am. The last thing I want to ever do is hurt you. Or Nadia and the girls. It’s just . . .” Grayson trailed off.
“It’s just what, Grayson?”
He didn’t know how to answer her.
“Do you plan to see her again?”
“It’s not Nadia who I want to see,” he told her. “It’s the girls. My heart, this heart.” Again, he placed his hand over his chest. “It belongs to you. To the girls, Gemma and Lynnea. Not Nadia.”
She stood there, looking at the ground with her arms crossed over her chest. Grayson took timid steps toward her, afraid she’d bolt out of the room, out the front door, and out of his life. He regretted not telling her.
“That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it, Grayson? That’s not your heart.” Reid choked on her words as tears fell down her cheeks. “The one you had before, the one you swore loved me, but you were too in your head to make a commitment. The one you lied to me about . . . that one.” She pointed to his chest and shook her head. “This one doesn’t love me. So, here we are again. Right back to the beginning, just another excuse.”
“That’s not true, Reid. You have my heart. All of it. But those girls have a piece as well. Maybe the feelings will go away or change, but right now I feel heartbroken because I’m not with them.”
“That’s great, Grayson.”
“My feelings are about them, Reid. Not you. I’m solid there. I’m in love with you and I have been for as long as I can remember.”
“You don’t lie to the people you love, Grayson.” She stepped away from him. “I need some space.” With that, she picked up her purse and walked out the front door.
THIRTY
REID
It had been two weeks since Grayson had gone to Boston and come back with a somewhat life-altering confession. After she’d walked out, she’d gone to the park and sat at the playground, where she watched families play. Some children were there with both parents, some with a mom or dad or someone who could’ve been a babysitter. What Reid did was imagine the mom who was there, pushing her young son on the swing and then taking him down the slide, as Nadia. Reid would refer to Grayson’s ex by her name because she was more than his ex, and she suspected they’d know each other before too long. If Reid and Grayson were going to stay together, and if he insisted on being in the girls’ lives, he’d have to come clean to Nadia.