Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
“Scared.”
“That’s normal. I’m going to take a look at your incision.”
“My what?”
Jillian lifted his blanket and pulled back the bandage that covered his chest. He watched every movement and questioned how he hadn’t known he had a massive piece of gauze covering his torso.
“It might be best if you don’t look,” Sydney told him as she pulled his face toward hers.
“But—”
“Later. You can look later, once you’ve processed everything.”
He nodded and kept his focus on his mom. She was beautiful and the most important person in his life, aside from Reid. Although she didn’t know it. Grayson had wanted to tell her how he felt, but he couldn’t. At least not then.
When the nurse finished, she told him she’d be back in a few.
“Mom.” Grayson looked to her for answers.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, honey. You’re going to be fine.”
“With someone else’s heart?”
She nodded.
“Whose?”
“We don’t know, honey. Donations are anonymous.”
“But someone died to give me a heart?”
“It doesn’t work that way, Grayson. Someone passed away, and you were a match.”
“And they just cut me open?”
Sydney didn’t say anything. Grayson wanted to be alone but didn’t have the nerve to ask his mom to leave him. Not that he excepted she would, under the circumstances. He also couldn’t roll over, because looking at the machines that were doing who knew what wasn’t an option either. Grayson tried to lift his head to look at his blanket-covered body, but the strain was too much. He was weak—something he had never been, and had promised himself he would never be.
A tear dripped from the corner of his eye. He lacked the effort to wipe it away or even care it was there. So much went through his mind as he stared at the ceiling. Would his new heart love Reid? His mother? His stepdad? Would he still be able to play basketball? Did he even love basketball anymore?
What about his job? How was he going to pay rent or for health care if he couldn’t work? How long would he be out of work?
And then the ultimate, soul-crushing question popped into his mind—did he even want this heart?
He wanted to live, but not at the expense of someone else. Was there someone more worthy than him who could’ve used a new ticker? Grayson was certain there was.
“Do you want to see Reid?” Sydney asked.
Did he? He waited for the excitement that normally came when he thought of her. Was the extra thump he felt his new heart’s way of saying he still felt the same?
“Grayson?” Sydney said his name softly. “I know it’s a lot to take in. We’re all here for you, though. Reid has been here every day since you came in. Gilbert comes every night after work. I stay here. Pearce comes every other day after work. We all love you so much.”
“How long have I been in the hospital?”
“A little over a month,” she said quietly.
“A month?” He could barely get the question out.
“Yes,” she said.
“Jesus. I lost thirty days of my life?”
“We don’t look at it that way,” she told him. “Your body needed rest in preparation for your new heart.”
“It’s not mine,” he told her.
“It is,” she countered.
“No, it belongs to some dead person.” Until now, he had never thought about organ donation. He always assumed that when his time was up, it was up. That’s why he kept Reid at arm’s length, because he wasn’t supposed to be here. Had his mom just messed with the natural order of things?
“I’m going to get Reid for you.” Sydney rose and left Grayson alone in his room. Well, as alone as he could be with the machines chiming next to him. The tube running from his chest sloshed, and he was thankful he was smart enough not to look.
Grayson could smell Reid before he saw her. She gripped his hand and then came into view. God, she was damn stunning, with her auburn-colored hair and expressive eyes the color of milk chocolate. He waited for his new heart to react, to be on the same page as his brain. He was relieved when he felt a surge of love wash over him as she trailed her fingers down the side of his face.
“Hey,” she said melodiously. “I’m so happy to see those beautiful eyes of yours.”
“Is that all?” he asked, cracking his first joke.
Reid smiled and chuckled. “You just had major surgery, and you’re already joking?”
Grayson would’ve shrugged, but he had a hard time moving. “What can I say? You bring it out in me.”
She ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and waited . . . anticipating his body would push her away, reject her. His mind knew he loved her, but did the rest of him?
Yes, he decided, it did.
“Will you answer some questions for me?”