Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 23821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 119(@200wpm)___ 95(@250wpm)___ 79(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 23821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 119(@200wpm)___ 95(@250wpm)___ 79(@300wpm)
Oh, please, God, let me be awake.
“I’ve never been possessive or jealous or—”
“But you are now.”
“Yes.”
I had to push; I couldn’t help it. “Because?”
“Because you belong to me, Brian, make no mistake. You always have.”
He was right and we both knew it. There was no argument to be made.
“It has to be all or nothing,” I insisted.
“Oh, I know.” He was placating me.
“What does that mean?” And now I was annoyed.
“It means that’s how you are, Bri. Don’t you think I know that?”
His voice, the way it broke, like his heart was aching, made me catch my breath. I wanted to see him almost desperately. “Were you really leaving?”
“I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m winging it.”
The sultry rumble made my stomach flutter.
“Did you come chasing after Aidric?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want him to be the first one to talk to you. I wanted it to be me.”
“But?”
“But he doesn’t want me to race anymore without you, and so he came to talk you into coming back. I mean, I get it. Everyone’s always liked me better when you’re there. You make me nice and cautious and vigilant about my safety.”
“Is that right?”
“Screw you.”
“And you’re saying, everybody likes you that way?”
“I could do without you being so pleased with yourself.”
“Me?” I went for surprise, unsure if it was coming off. “Whatever do you mean?”
“You’re a good influence on me,” he snapped irritably. “That’s the general consensus.”
“Who knew,” I husked.
After a frustrated huff of air, he muttered, “I did.”
I chuckled. “Is that right?”
He grunted.
It felt so good to talk to him, so normal. “I missed you so bad.”
“I know you did.”
The man was insufferable. “You could say you missed me too.”
“But you know that, so why do I have to say it?”
“Varro—”
“Just wait for me. I’ll be right there,” he grumbled and hung up.
I stood there for a moment staring at my phone before turning and walking back up to the house. I sat down on the top step and realized I was trembling.
It was weird to be terrified and flooded with happiness at the same time. Head down between my knees, I worked to calm myself, trying not to hyperventilate.
Part of me was angry. How dare he pop back into my life again and pull the rug out from under me? I deserved my place, my home, my life. I wouldn’t be homeless again. I couldn’t be. It would break me.
The other half, the half that had spent a lifetime in love with my best friend, was in heaven.
I had to think.
I breathed in the smell of the ocean and coming rain. I focused on the sounds of people rushing by on the sidewalk and the wind kicking around the leaves on my front lawn. All the normal helped me slowly pull back all the pieces of my heart that had exploded like shrapnel. When I felt the stillness settle in me, I called Graham to give him my apologies.
“Okay, no lunch,” he said, chuckling. “So, dinner, then?”
“I don’t think so,” I replied honestly. “Varro is actually in town and—”
“Wait.”
“What?”
“You’re saying the guy you said last night that you weren’t sure if you’d ever see again, ever, he’s suddenly in town?” he asked and sounded just a bit snide. “Do I have that right?”
“You do.” I laughed because, really, and always, Varro’s timing was for shit.
“That’s very interesting.”
“How do you mean?”
“I mean I’m getting conflicting messages here, Brian.”
“In what way?”
“Are you kidding? What is this guy to you?”
“Exactly what I told you. He used to be my best friend, and really, he still is.”
“How do things just change overnight?”
“They just do with Varro,” I groaned and then added, “He’s the worst.” But even I could hear how fondly the words came out.
“It sounds like that’s all right with you.”
“It was for a long time and then it wasn’t.”
“And now?”
“Now I don’t know,” I confessed because my life was in free fall at the moment. No telling where I was going to land.
“So everything you said last night was a lie.”
“No,” I explained. “It was all true then. I thought he was gone. Today he’s not, he’s here, and everything’s different.”
“So he never actually said that he was out of your life.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“And now what? He says jump and you say how high?”
“It’s not like that. I wanna see him.”
“You want to?”
“Of course. Always.”
He must have been mulling that over, because there was a momentary lull. “And you and I have what?”
“You lost me.”
“What do we have, Brian? What is this that we’re doing?”
“We’re spending time together. Dating.”
“It’s a little more than that.”
“But it’s not serious,” I made clear, because being less than honest served no one.
“It’s not?”
“It just started.”
“Brian.” His voice dropped. “I really like you.”
“And I like you too, or we wouldn’t be dating.”
“The way you are, the way you see the world the way it could be and not just the way it is, is a really amazing gift.”