Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 80102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Rainn pushes off on his skates with too much grace for someone who’s had a four-year break. I skate opposite him, my stick ready to accept his pass. The puck finds my blade as if they’re magnetized, and I pass it back to him where he shoots and scores.
The play is fast but smooth, and it’s exactly what Coach is looking for. “That’s how it’s done.”
Rainn gives me a wide smile, and though I try to give one back, I know I fail when a small frown line appears above Rainn’s eyes.
Coach skates by Rainn and slaps his shoulder. “Still got it.”
“Like riding a bike,” Rainn says, but there’s no energy behind it.
I just fulfilled one of my high school dreams—to be on the same ice as Rainn Richardson—but it’s tainted by everything that’s happened, my need to stay away, and my concern for him being back here when he struggles with anything to do with hockey.
When practice is over, I take a longer shower than I usually do and dress in my jeans and flannel shirt, trying to wait it out until Rainn leaves.
I don’t want to have to explain that I can’t be around him without feeling like a lovesick puppy, and yay for humiliation number eight hundred and sixty-seven in Rainn’s presence.
Once I’ve made sure my cubby is neat and tidy—it’s so very important to perform a sudden spring clean—I grab my gear bag and leave the empty locker room.
All the other guys ran out of here as fast as they could to get to their girlfriends or whatever midweek party they’re going to.
Rainn and Coach Keller are in the hallway talking when I take my exit. Obviously, I didn’t take long enough.
“Give this guy a call,” Coach is saying. “Promise me.”
Rainn takes a card from him. “Promise.”
Then they notice me.
“Thanks for coming in,” Coach says and shakes Rainn’s hand.
I’m tempted to run away, but that won’t look suspicious or anything. When Coach walks off, I adjust the bag on my shoulder and stare at the ground.
“You didn’t come to the bar,” Rainn says.
No shit. “You could be a cop with that kind of detective work.”
Rainn’s smile is weak. “I … I got you a birthday present.”
He what?
“You … present … me.”
“Don’t get too excited—it’s nothing big, but I was hoping … Could I take you to dinner to give it to you?”
“You want to go to dinner. With me.”
“I wouldn’t have endured that”—he points down the chute toward the ice—“if I didn’t care about you. I was planning to give it to you when you came to the bar. But you didn’t.”
“Wait … you came to practice and skated again just so you could give me a birthday present? Is this a guilt thing? About the …” God, I can’t even say kiss in front of this man.
“It’s not a guilt thing, but I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“Right. Because you can’t like me like that. You’re straight.”
“Can I take you out for your birthday?” he asks.
“I … I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You said what happened didn’t fuck everything up, but now I get the sense you’re avoiding me.”
“I need to,” I snap.
“What? Why?”
“Because …” The only way I’m going to get over this juvenile crush is if I don’t see you for a while. “I just can’t right now, okay?”
The right words fail me. Telling him I have feelings for him will make this even weirder, and there’s no point. It will make him even more uncomfortable.
Rainn glances at the wrapped, rectangular package in his hands and holds it out for me. “Here. This is for you.”
I swallow hard. “Thanks.”
With an awkward nod, he says, “I hope we can move past this.” He starts off down the corridor toward the exit, and I’m ashamed to admit that as soon as he rounds the corner, I tear into my present.
I may want space and time to get over him, but any little piece of attention he gives me, I’m going to take.
When I pull out the stapled-together papers, I’m confused for a moment, but then I start reading. It’s pages and pages of printed-off online magazine articles, all of them about people who didn’t lose their virginity until they were older and the unnecessary pressure they felt to get it over with.
There’s another one about how the whole virginity concept is outdated because sex isn’t defined as penetrative sex between a man and woman anymore. I skim one about a thirty-one-year-old who still hasn’t lost his virginity and doesn’t even care.
I stare down the corridor where he disappeared. He did this so I’d feel better about my situation and realize I’m not alone. Not by a long shot.
It’s weird how such a simple gift can mean so much.
“Fuck,” I hiss and take off after Rainn.
I find him outside the arena on his phone. “Rainn, wait.”