Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
I’m done.
This has to end.
I won’t be going back to Vixen, and I sure as hell won’t be allowing Izaac to use my body. I was kidding myself when I asked for this, and just as Becs predicted, I was the one who got hurt. It’s time to offer my heart the respect it’s always craved.
From here on out, Izaac Banks is dead to me.
24
IZAAC
My jaw clenches as I glance down at my watch. 8:30 p.m.
Aspen is chronically late. It’s a sickness. But when she’s meeting me, she’s always been on time. Even early on occasions, but tonight feels different. I hurt her yesterday. I had no fucking choice. She was asking for something I can’t give, no matter how I feel about it.
I had to lie. I had to tell her I’d never love her, but I think I already do.
I’m not capable of giving her what she needs. Not worthy of it. I don’t even know how to love someone, and I’m sure as hell not going to use her to experiment with that. She deserves so much better. All I’m going to do is hurt her, so it was best I shut her down before I let it get too far.
She hurts now, but in time, she’ll move on, despite how much the thought of that tears at something deep in my chest.
I didn’t expect her to challenge me on it last night. I figured after what went down at Cherry, we’d fight it out. When I called her yesterday, I knew she’d let loose. I expected her to scream, to come up with every insult under the sun and launch it directly at me, but I wasn’t expecting her to call me out on my shit. I wasn’t expecting her to challenge me.
She asked me if it meant more, if I was ever going to love her, and for her to ask me that means she already knows the truth. She can feel the shift in our relationship just as I can, and she’s right, I’m a fucking coward for not being able to admit it.
I thought maybe tonight, we could talk it out face-to-face. After we fucked all the pent-up anger out of our systems, we could sit at the Vixen bar down in the VIP lounge, or perhaps find a booth that offers a little more privacy and fucking talk for the first time . . . ever. Put everything out on the table and reestablish the lines that have become so blurred that I don’t even see them anymore.
But something tells me she’s not just late—she’s not coming.
The ice clinks in my glass as I lift it to my lips, drinking what’s left in the bottom.
Why do I feel so fucking worked up at the thought of Aspen blowing me off? That’s not how this was supposed to go. She would come, we’d fuck, and I’d get her out of my system . . . for the next few days, at least. But the desperation I feel for her always comes back, and each time it does, it’s more intense and so much harder to ignore. That much was proven at Cherry when I broke all my fucking rules and took her outside my office.
I’ve made a point not to break the rules. We put them in place for a reason and now everything is fucked up, and because of that, I’m standing alone at a bar, being stood up by the woman I always swore I’d never want.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Hell, since Cherry, I haven’t even taken a moment to consider Austin’s feelings because suddenly what he wants doesn’t matter to me anymore. On some level at least. He’ll always be my best friend, and I’ll always value his opinion, but she’s what matters now. She’s my priority, and right now, she’s hurting so fucking bad that she couldn’t even show up to call me a fucking asshole.
Shit.
I need to get over there.
I need to make this right, but I don’t know how to do that, especially considering I can’t give her the one thing she wants. How am I supposed to fix this?
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I bring up her name before hitting call and holding the phone to my ear, then as it rings, I make my way out of the club. There’s no answer, but I’m not surprised. After she asked me not to call her yesterday, of course I tried, but every single call got denied. She didn’t even respond to my text.
Shit. What if something is wrong? What if I’ve pushed her too far, hurt her too much? What if she’s lying on her bathroom floor unable to breathe?
Picking up my pace, I fly past Casey, ignoring whatever bullshit comes out of her mouth as I try Aspen’s phone again.