Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78295 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78295 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
“Probably for the best. My life hasn’t been all that amazing, if I’m honest. Lots of pain, lots of hurt people.”
“True, but I think I went too far. I was hiding at that paint and sip place, working for crappy money, barely creating art for myself because I was just too scared of failure. But I’m not scared of it anymore.”
He nods and looks content. “I’m happy then. Sounds like you’re in the right place.”
“You did the right thing too, reaching out to me.”
“At least it gave us a little time to say goodbye, huh?”
“Sure, Dad. I’m glad we got that.”
“Me, too, hon. Me too.”
We lapse into silence. I sit with my father, staring at the landscape, finishing my lukewarm tea, feeling sad, angry, strange, but comfortable. It’s good, having him here, and it’s good to talk about Erick with someone. I’ve kept that all to myself, and now it’s out in the world, which is a strange relief.
I don’t know how I feel about my father, and I don’t know how to save him. If there’s anything I could do to give him more time, to let him die on his own terms, I’d do it. Even if that meant painting another dozen forgeries, even if it means giving up a piece of myself, I’d make it happen.
But I can’t think of any way to save him. Not without causing a war.
It’s awful, but I try to push it from my mind. I try to be present, with him, enjoying what we have left. Even if my dad was an awful father and was nothing but trouble, I still love him, despite everything. He tried, in his own twisted way, he really did try.
“Hey, Dad? I love you.”
“Love you too, kid. And I really am sorry for all this.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s okay. I mean, it’s not, but I’m in a forgiving mood.”
“Lucky me.”
Another comfortable silence before he starts to reminisce about the old days. About the time she took me around the Strip, through the casinos. We talk and tell old stories and I make him laugh so hard he nearly coughs up a lung, and then we talk some more. I’m grinning and crying by the time Erick appears behind us.
“Mind if I borrow her for a few minutes? It’s important.”
“Please, go ahead,” Dad says with a sigh. “I could use a break. Hell, I could use a nap.”
“You sure?” I ask, looking at Erick, who stares back with a serious intensity.
“Positive. Go on, talk to him. I’ll be around.” Dad leans back in his chair and I get to my feet.
Chapter 41
Erick
“I hate taking you away from your dad, but I don’t want this to wait much longer.” I lead Hellie away from the back yard and toward the garage. “This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, and I think it’s past time.”
“Sorry, are you about to change my oil or something? Why are we going into the garage?”
“You’ll see.” I open the door and step down. The lights come on, and I take Hellie’s hand and gesture toward the truck parked in the last spot.
She walks over. It’s a smaller, black, four-wheel-drive. Good in the desert, and brand new. “It’s nice,” she says. “But so what? You got a new truck.”
“This is yours.” I dangle the keys from my finger. “Hellie, you’re free.”
She frowns at the truck then frowns at the keys and finally shakes her head. “Sorry, is this some kind of trick?”
“No trick. You’re free. There’s no reason to keep you captive anymore, and hell, you haven’t been a real captive in a while.”
“Except for that time I tried to run away and you got really pissed.”
“Okay, good point, but I’m ready to move past that now.”
She chews her lip, thinking, and walks around the perimeter of the truck. “This is really mine?”
“Yes, it’s really yours. I’ll have Marina take you down the path tomorrow. There are some tricky spots, so you’d better only leave and come back during daylight, but once you know all the twists and turns, you’ll be fine.”
“I can leave whenever I want?”
“Whenever you want.” Which feels strange to say but it’s true. I’m not keeping her captive anymore. I’d like to lock her away in my room and never let her go but that’s not a reasonable way to have a relationship.
And I’m ready for something more with her.
Something real, something not contingent on keeping her locked up in the studio painting until her arms fall off.
“I’m having trouble making sense of this. Why now, why all of a sudden?”
“You know why.” I walk to her, forcing her to back up until she bumps into the truck’s bumper. “Hellie, it’s time I stopped pretending like I own you. I don’t even want that anymore. I want this to be real, and it can’t be anything more than a fantasy unless you’re free to make your own choices.”