Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 89232 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89232 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Tightlipped, my mom says, “I have to admit, Celeste did something right for once. Remember to thank her.”
I turn around with a nervous smile, letting Mom zip up the dress. The silk hugs my hips but not too tightly. The fabric is soft and comfortable, caressing my thighs where the skirt is narrow before flaring out toward the hem.
I lift my hair for Mom to fasten the button of the halter neck at the back. The top is a little loose over my breasts, but I don’t mind. At least I won’t battle to breathe. I’m already short of breath from stress as it is.
Mom grips my shoulders and twirls me around to face her. “Let me have a look at you.” Emotions flood her features. “You look perfect, Bella. It’s not the wedding I would’ve liked to give you, but it’s something. At least you’re marrying the right man. I only wish your father was here. Giving you away to Colin would’ve made him very happy.”
My chest tightens, and tears spring to my eyes.
My mom pulls her back straight. “Now isn’t the time to be emotional.” She clips the suitcase open and buries her head inside, hiding non too discreetly while composing herself before rising with silk slippers. “Oh, look. Celeste even brought shoes.”
Grateful for the foresight, I take the shoes and put them on. They’re a little wide, but I’ll be able to walk in them.
Mom steps back and studies me with a critical look. “Let’s get some color on your cheeks.”
When I unzip my toilet bag, I’m relieved to find that Celeste remembered to pack my birth control pills. At the same time, it’s weird to think about Colin in an intimate way. There was a time when I considered losing our virginity together, but so much happened since. After Angelo, I can’t imagine sleeping with Colin or any other man for that matter. I’m sure sex with Colin will be tame and safe. I have no doubt that Colin will be patient. Knowing him, he’ll give me all the time I need.
While I brush out my hair, Mom rummages through my make-up bag. As she takes out my lipstick, the door opens, and my sister enters.
“Mattie,” I exclaim with a mixture of joy and concern. “What are you doing here? You’re nine months pregnant, for crying out loud.”
She gasps, cupping her hands over her mouth. “Oh, Bella. You look gorgeous.”
“No tears,” Mom warns in a stern tone. “Bella is right, Mattie. You’re too close to having the baby to be here.”
“I’m fine.” Mattie rubs her belly. “You didn’t think I’d miss my sister’s wedding, did you?”
“Impromptu wedding,” I say.
Mom hands her the make-up bag and the lipstick. “Help me get some color on her face. Colin is waiting.”
“They can wait another minute,” Mattie says. “It’s a big day after all. Jared bought flowers.”
“Bless his soul.” Mom scurries to the door. “I’ll go see if I can concoct a bridal bouquet.”
Mattie stares at me for a beat when Mom is gone. “Oh, Bella,” she says again. “You look so beautiful.”
The uncertainty plaguing me carries on my voice. “Thank you.”
“Hey.” She searches my face. “This is what you want, right?”
“To escape? Yes. But to do this to Colin? I’m not sure that’s fair.”
“Colin is happy. He’s not an idiot. He knows what he’s signing up for.”
I bite my lip, chewing it for a couple of beats before admitting, “I don’t love him like that.”
“Love isn’t always instantaneous. In fact, most true loves aren’t. Love at first sight is often nothing but hormones. It’s just infatuation. Real love takes time to develop and to grow. I don’t know how things are between you and Colin, but I’ve known Colin since the day he was born. I know him well enough to be sure he’ll put the time and effort into your relationship that it deserves. Besides, this is what Dad would’ve wanted.”
Those are the words that sway me. No matter how my dad hurt me with his lies, his sinister business deals, and his secret life, I never stopped loving him. I never stopped missing him. I’d give anything to have him here today. To walk me down the aisle. Mattie is right. This is what he wanted. He told me so himself. It would’ve made him happy.
I square my shoulders. “You’re right. Let’s do this.”
“That’s my baby sister.” She uncaps my lipstick. “Let’s make you even prettier than you are.”
She applies the red lipstick and a little make-up and gives me the hand mirror when she’s finished. Except for the make-up, I look like every other day. Normal. My smile says I’m happy. Only, I’m not. I’m terrified, not only because I can’t relax until I say, I do, but also because I’m worried that we’re making a mistake.