Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 89232 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89232 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Chapter
Fifteen
Sabella
* * *
I knock on Mom’s door on Friday morning. It’s early, but she’s awake. I heard her sniffling when I went downstairs to make coffee.
“Come in,” she calls.
I enter and close the door behind me. She stands in front of the mirror, studying her reflection.
“I brought coffee.” I leave the steaming mug on her dresser. “I thought you might need some.”
Her smile is automatic. “Thanks.”
The black knee-length dress and A-line jacket look good on her. She dyed her roots and blow-dried her short hair to give it volume. A fashionable hat is pinned on her head and a net attached to the front hides the puffiness of her eyes. The color of her lipstick is a natural pink instead of Mattie’s bright red.
“I hate that I have to worry about how what I wear is going to look in the media photographs,” she says. “I feel like I’m putting on a show instead of taking time alone to deal with everything.”
“You are putting on a show,” I say gently. “All eyes will be on us today. After that, we’ll mourn in private.”
“I still can’t believe he’s gone.” Her bottom lip quivers. “What he did… It seems unreal. It’s not fair that everyone is sticking their noses in our private lives. It’s not fair that he left me to do this alone.” Bitter, angry tears glitter in her eyes. “How could he subject me to this humiliation? And the way he died… How am I supposed to live with that?”
Not knowing what else to do, I wrap my arms around her. “We’ll get through this.”
She soaks up the hug for a moment before pushing me away. Pride makes her back stiff. Anger is the mask she adopts to hide her moment of weakness. “My whole life with him was make-believe. Nothing that came out of his mouth was true.” Her expression hardens. “Lies are all he gave me, and betrayal is the only thing he left me with.”
Borrowing from Mattie’s wisdom, I say, “You have to focus on the parts that were good.”
“Ha.” She yanks a handbag from the dresser. “Which parts would that be?”
“The affection and the love.”
She snorts, stuffing tissues and lipstick into her bag.
“Mattie and me.” I lower my head to catch her gaze. “We’re part of the good that came out of your marriage, aren’t we?”
Her face softens only for a moment before she dons her armor again. “Let’s just get this ordeal over with.”
Marching to the door, she leaves me to follow.
Ryan and Celeste wait downstairs. Jared and Mattie went ahead to make sure the flowers are set up in the church. Colin and his parents meet us outside. Clara, Colin’s sister, is on vacation with her friends. Just as well. The less people who witness our humiliation amidst our grief, the better. I go with Colin while Ryan drives Celeste and my mom.
Even though Mom decided to keep the service a private family affair, the lawn outside the church is packed with spectators and media. Cameras flash when we make our way inside as proudly as we can. A few opportunistic journalists shout questions at us, but Ryan had the foresight to hire a few guards who keep the press and curious people at bay. A television crew runs behind us, filming our entry until a church elder closes the doors.
Outside, Mom was strong and proud. When she finally shifts into the front pew facing the pulpit, she all but collapses. The organist is playing a Psalm on the organ. The deep notes vibrate with somber dignity through the acoustic space. The minister enters from the vestry. He gives my mom a sympathetic nod before mounting the pulpit.
The organ music fades and dies. A moment of silence stretches. Just as the minister opens his mouth to speak, the doors open again.
We turn in our seats. Dressed in black silk and lace, Laura and Daisy enter arm in arm. My mom goes rigid. The lines around her mouth turn hard. She makes to stand, but Ryan, who sits next to her, places a hand on her arm to stop her. The look he gives her says, Don’t make a scene.
That’s what everyone outside is waiting for—a juicy show to exploit in their newspapers and on their online sites.
Mattie glares at the women as they take a seat in the back of the church. Celeste stares until Ryan puts an arm around her and gently nudges her attention to the front.
The minister takes a sip of water from a glass that’s conveniently left on the pulpit. Keeping his head down, he launches into a sermon about forgiveness and redemption, but I only listen with half an ear.
While concern, guilt, and grief swamp me, it’s Laura and Daisy who steal my focus. I can’t help but home in on them, feeling their presence even though I’m not looking in their direction. I can’t help but blame them for taking this moment from my mom too. Mom deserves to grieve without the bitter reminder of Laura’s presence. This is already hard enough as it is.