Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 80176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
She waited, eyebrows raised in question, for me to elaborate.
“Balthazar is the man who lives down the street from me,” I said. “The one who didn’t take kindly to me threatening him with the police. The one who’s responsible for my four-year prison sentence.”
The moment she realized who he was to me, and it sank in, her face fell.
“You can’t do that job.” She sat up straight, displacing Gertie’s head. “If you do that, you could get hurt. You could go back to jail if you do what I think you’re going to do. And where would that leave me?”
I gritted my teeth.
“I won’t go to jail, and I won’t get hurt.”
She sat forward.
“You don’t know that,” she snapped. “You’re so far from rational about this that you can’t see what everyone else does, and that’s that this is a bad idea. I mean, really, Evander, what are you thinking?”
What was I thinking?
“I’m thinking that if I don’t do this, that stupid motherfucker is going to be a thorn in my side for the rest of his life. I’ll have to deal with him doing his business at the end of my road, living with just a few acres separating him from me, and there wouldn’t be a goddamn thing I could do about it.”
“Your brother…”
I immediately shook my head.
“Not happening,” I immediately disagreed. “He’s not been there at all for me in a long time. I’m not bringing him in on this.”
She growled under her breath and looked away as angry tears started to form in her eyes.
“This is the worst idea—it’s not like you.”
“You don’t know it’s not like me.” I stood up and threw my hands in the air. “That’s the problem we have here. You don’t know me, Kennedy. You only know what you want to know.”
“What do you mean I don’t know you?” she hissed, standing up now, too. “I know you!”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at her, trying not to think about how hot she looked when she was pissed.
“You don’t,” I countered.
She stalked toward me, finger raised and poked me in the chest at the same time she said, “I know that you love me.”
I snapped my mouth closed.
I did fucking love her.
I wouldn’t admit that, though.
Admitting it meant that she’d just have one more hurdle to jump over when this all turned south.
And I wasn’t lying to myself. This very well might turn south. I might end up back in jail after I did what I had to do. I might be fucking dead.
But there wasn’t a goddamn thing that was going to stop me from exacting this revenge. My heart couldn’t live with it, and if she really loved me, she wouldn’t ask me to.
Until this was all over, I wouldn’t say those words to her. I wouldn’t give her the false hope.
So I remained silent.
And broke her heart in the process.
It’s too bad that I didn’t realize that I was breaking her heart while I was doing it, though.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I said, taking a seat on the bed and dragging my boots to me.
“You’re going tonight?” she asked in alarm.
I nodded, slipping my feet into the boots and standing up.
“Don’t do this, Evander,” she pleaded. “This isn’t a good idea. I have a bad feeling about this.”
I walked to her and hugged her, dropping a kiss on the top of her brow.
“I’ll be fine.”
Then I let her go.
“I love you, Evander.”
My heart swelled at her words, but I didn’t let them stop me from leaving.
But I really should have.
She looked just fine.
She looked like she was okay with me not saying it back to her.
As I got to the end of the sidewalk, though, I couldn’t stop myself from turning around and heading back up the stairs.
She looked so fuckin’ hopeful that my steps faltered.
“Gotta get Gertie,” I rumbled. “Gertie!”
Gertie was at the door moments later.
And as I turned to leave, I got a good look at her face.
I saw the moment it fell.
Saw the resignation and hurt there.
I promised myself that I’d make it up to her. I promised myself that I would tell her everything. Show her everything that was in my heart.
As soon as I got home.
But when I got home would be too late.
I just didn’t know it yet.
***
“Worst fuckin’ idea, ever,” Rafe grumbled, watching the house.
I watched it, too.
I’d done this a lot. Sat here, watching, waiting, hoping that Balthazar would come out so I could get my chance and grab the fucker.
But he never came out. I didn’t know if he knew I was out there. I also didn’t know if he would even care.
I’d done this before. I knew what I was about to do was stupid.
But then I got a phone call.
And what was said sent shock straight through me, right to my core.