Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
The truth was, I’d been scared, because being with him, kissing him and feeling him, had unlocked something inside me. I’d wanted him, wanted more from him, even then, and he’d been so young, and there had been Griff to worry about and the fact that I was nothing back then. What did I have to offer Kellan or anyone else?
So I’d run, and now I was back, and I realized that so much of what I did was about him. That I’d cared for Kellan more than I’d been willing to admit, since he kissed me all those years ago.
“I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen years old. I don’t remember what it’s like not to love you, and I don’t know how to stop.”
Christ, how could he love me that much? It didn’t make sense, not to me, but fuck was I glad he did, because I’d never felt for anyone else the way I did for Kellan.
I kept telling myself that would make all the difference with Griffin. That being with Kellan wouldn’t come between us because I was serious about him. I cared about him. I wanted to be with him in a way I’d never been with anyone else. But I wasn’t sure it would matter. Not with Griff.
As I drove out to Bridget Johnson’s house, I tried to get my mind on the situation with Buck. I’d spoken with Kellan that morning before I went in to work and he’d gone home. The truth was, I was worried about Buck and his reaction to Buck Jr. taking the class. If he was willing to manhandle Kellan that way, would he lay a hand on his son? I’d been so one-minded, only thinking about Kellan when I saw the mark on his arm, that I hadn’t let myself think about the rest of it. Kellan agreed, and I thought the best place to start was with Bridget.
When I pulled my cruiser up in front of her old A-frame house, she was taking groceries out of her car.
“Let me help you with those,” I said as I got out of the vehicle.
“Is everything okay? Is there something wrong?” she asked, concern making her voice tremble.
“No one is hurt or anything.”
When Bridget nodded, I plucked the rest of the bags from her trunk, and the two of us went inside. “Are the kids home?”
“No, they’re with my mom. What’s going on, Chase? You’re worrying me.”
I set the bags on her kitchen counter. “I wanted to ask you a few questions about Buck.”
She frowned. “Okay.”
“Buck Jr. is starting a class at Safe Haven, right?”
“Yes.” Her brows pulled together.
“Buck paid a visit to Kellan. He’s not happy about his son taking classes from him.”
“Oh God.” Her hand went to her mouth. “He didn’t hurt him, did he?”
It concerned me that that was her first thought, that she obviously believed her husband capable of hurting Kellan. “He’s fine, but it’s important that I know if Buck has a history of violence.”
“He never laid a hand on me or the kids, if that’s what you’re asking. I wouldn’t let my kids visit with him if he did. He’s…he’s been a lot angrier lately, I can tell you that. It’s like he’s mad at the whole world. I figured it was because of the separation, my filing for divorce, and then the fact that he lost his job. And, well, Buck and his daddy have never been real accepting, if you know what I mean…with Kellan…and people like him.”
My jaw clenched, and my hands fisted. I could tell she was trying not to be offensive and wasn’t sure how to say it, but I was fucking irate that people like Buck gave a shit who someone else loved or slept with.
“I never would have expected him to go and say something to Kellan, though. If so, I wouldn’t have let Buck Jr. take the class, or I would have kept it from Buck or something. I’m sure you know Buck’s been staying with his daddy and, well, the two of them kind of feed off each other. He gives Buck a hard time about everything, and any prejudices or homophobia Buck has, he got from his father. For that reason alone, I don’t like letting my kids stay with him, but the judge ordered shared custody, so I talk to them before and after each visit. Try to counter anything they might say about others. I’m close with my kids, Chase. Buck doesn’t hurt them. I’d know if he did.”
I nodded, feeling grateful for that piece of it, at least.
“I take it Buck didn’t want the separation?”
“No, not at all. He was really angry that I was leaving him. Jimmy didn’t help with that either. You know Buck’s mama left them when he was a kid. Jimmy tried to tell him I was doing the same thing. He had all sorts of stuff to say about Buck’s mama and, well, women in general. He is old-fashioned in his beliefs, as I’m sure you know. He held a tight grip on his wife and tried to get Buck to do the same with me. It was different in the beginning, ya know? Buck didn’t want to be like his father, but the older he got, the more like him he became…started accusing me of being like his mom. I had to get out of there, Chase.”