Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Sawyer, who sat on a chaise across from us with Derek, glanced our way. I figured he was thinking: There’s Carter again, acting like some horny high-school kid. Which wasn’t entirely inaccurate.
I noticed his shoulders squaring off and his jaw clench in that familiar way. It reminded me of the way he’d been that night at Fever when I’d messed around with a guy, though not nearly to that degree.
All I could think was, Shit. Did I just fuck this up again?
CHAPTER FOUR
Sawyer
As much as I love books, I wish my options weren’t always spending lunch in the library or tagging along with Cam’s friends.
~ Sawyer’s Journal, 14 years old.
Most of the time, I considered myself a pretty logical person. I prided myself on using my brain and not letting my emotions lead me, except in those rare moments when I couldn’t control them. Feelings were unpredictable, and that wasn’t something I wanted to be.
This, however, was one of those moments when logic wasn’t winning. I seemed to have too many of those when it came to Carter James, and I couldn’t figure out why.
And I sure as shit didn’t like it.
I’d tried so damn hard to relax today, to let stuff go, to have fun because, fuck, I didn’t want to be that guy. I’d taken one of my anxiety pills before we left the chalet and kept telling myself over and over that none of the shit going through my head mattered.
Carter was a nice guy. He should be a friend. It wasn’t that big a deal that he liked to flirt. He wasn’t Julian, and I didn’t plan to sleep with him, so what did it matter what he did?
Hell, I’d even talked myself into playing a game of naked beer pong, on the condition that I would not have to strip down completely like the other guys, who were so enthusiastic about doing just that. I mean, what in the hell was that? My friends would have lost their shit if they’d been there, and Cam would have never let me live it down.
But all I could think about was the fact that I’d done all that shit, made myself let go, and hadn’t even been a dick when Carter flirted with me, and now he was letting Rex rub all up on him? It was all like this big fucking game to him, and if there was one thing I didn’t do, it was play games. Not with relationships, and not when it came to other people. I’d let someone else play games with me too many times before.
I kept telling myself I had no reason to be pissed. Carter wasn’t mine, and I didn’t want him to be mine, and hadn’t I been the one who said I didn’t plan to have sex with him? That’s where the logic thing and I were having trouble, because despite all those pieces, all those truths, I was annoyed.
Angry.
Maybe even a little jealous.
Aaaaand that was definitely my cue to leave. I pushed to my feet.
“Hey, man. Are we leaving?” Carter asked.
“I am,” I replied, before telling everyone goodbye and heading for the door. Carter followed, so I added, “I wasn’t sure if you were going to go or end up going to Rex’s room…or shit, bring him back to the chalet. I didn’t want to get in your way.”
“Sawyer,” Carter said softly, his voice hesitant. “You don’t get in my way.”
Fuck, he felt sorry for me, and that was the last thing I wanted. It only made my world spin even more. “Well, whatever. I’m still going to head out.”
“Hold on a minute. Wait for me, okay? Let me get all my stuff together and tell Rex I’m leaving too.”
“You don’t have to go with me, and if you want to bring him back, that’s your thing.”
I knew I was different from most of my friends, and I was okay with that. I didn’t want to ruin his fun. If anything, it was just another reminder that the flirting Carter did with me didn’t make any sense. It would never go anywhere. Maybe he would see that now.
“Oh, whatever. He’s a big boy. He’ll be fine,” Carter said, then scurried off without giving me a chance to reply. Fuck, I felt like an idiot, getting all wrapped up in my head, in my thoughts, again around Carter. I hated that he got to me so badly, and the more I thought about it, the more edgy and upset I got.
Not at him. It wasn’t his fault. This was all me.
A few minutes later, Carter came back, dressed. From there we headed to where all our snow gear was stored. We didn’t speak as he put on his jacket and scarf. Didn’t speak as I put on the snowshoes, which were uncomfortable and weird. Didn’t speak as we made our way back to the chalet, the cold whipping around us. My brain didn’t stop going the whole time, though.