Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 120165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
I’ve known all three of them since I was eight. When my parents died and Baba took me in, I had to move schools, right in the middle of elementary school, and the kids weren’t exactly welcoming. But Jen, Luna and Sadie had already formed their own little group of outcasts and invited me in, and we’ve been friends ever since.
I slid into a seat, and we ordered. As soon as the waiter had gone, Jen put down her breadsticks and leaned forward. “What is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve got that look,” said Jen. “Is it the Russian guy again?” She leaned in even more. “Yesterday, you said it was okay. Is it not okay? Do I need to break his kneecaps?”
“Who’s the Russian guy?” Luna wanted to know.
I tried to get a word in but didn’t make it. “Growly suited hottie,” Jen told her. “But he chased her out of the store in tears yesterday.”
“Why was he in tears?” Luna asked.
Jen rolled her eyes. “Not him, her!”
I finally got to speak. “Yes, it’s him and yes it’s okay—” I looked around at them helplessly. Oh God, how do I do this? And then I sighed and just womped my left hand down in the middle of the table.
All three of them froze and stared at the ring. “I’m gonna have to call you back,” Sadie mumbled into her phone, and ended the call.
“What. The. Fuck?” asked Jen, her eyes bugging out. She flagged down a passing waiter. “We need a bottle of Chardonnay and four glasses, stat!”
“His name’s Radimir. I’ve been seeing him for about five weeks.” I conveniently left out the part where in all that time, we’d spent a few hours and two nights together. Oh, and the part about him being a frickin’ Russian mafia boss.
“Five weeks?!” asked Sadie, mouth wide.
“I know it’s sudden—” I began.
“Sudden? Five months would be sudden,” said Sadie.
“It must have been really...intense,” said Jen slowly. “You must have been seeing each other, like, every night, those five weeks.” She looked at her plate. “You always say you’re too busy at the bookstore to hang out. Why didn’t you just tell me you were seeing someone?”
She looked hurt. They all looked hurt. I looked around at them helplessly. I really had been busy working late at the bookstore. But now I had to pretend I’d been seeing Radimir all those weeks, or they’d get suspicious. “Sorry. I was just worried it might not work out, so I wanted to keep it private.”
The wine arrived and everyone went silent as Jen poured four big glasses. Shit. They all thought I’d been keeping things from them. I knew Jen would take it especially hard: we’ve always told each other everything. But I couldn’t tell them the truth. If they tried to stop the wedding, or went to the police, they’d be in danger. Maybe I should have just disappeared, I thought miserably. Cut off all contact with them.
But I’d underestimated them. “So,” said Jen, rallying. “A whirlwind romance. But it’s probably a long engagement, right?” She gave me a brave smile, determined to be happy for me, and I just melted inside. Even hurt, they were great friends. “What are we talking about, a year?”
I took a big gulp of wine for strength. “Three weeks.”
Jen’s jaw dropped. “You’re pregnant!”
“Should you be drinking?” asked Luna gently.
“I’m not pregnant!” Saying it sent my mind spinning in a whole new direction. Would I have kids with Radimir? I wanted a family, someday. But I couldn’t raise kids in a loveless marriage. And I couldn’t love a man like him...right?
“Then why three weeks?” Sadie asked. “Don’t you think you’re rushing into this?”
I took a deep breath. “I know. I know it seems crazy but…” Crap. I really wasn’t good at lying. I stared at my plate as my mind groped around for an explanation. Then suddenly, it locked onto something. “He makes me feel protected,” I told them. “Like no one else ever has. He takes me just as I am. When he found out about my disability, he was fine with it.” I thought of how he’d bought the building to save the bookstore. “And he’d move mountains just to make me happy.”
Silence. I tentatively looked up and found all three of them wearing big, goofy grins. “You love him,” said Jen softly.
I nodded. My stomach unexpectedly flipped, even though it was just a lie. I could never love someone like him. I could never even have feelings for him.
Jen looked at Sadie and Luna and all three of them nodded. “Well, okay, then,” she said, her voice shaky with emotion. And she stood and pulled all of us into a hug. “If you love him, that’s all that matters.”
I felt tears prickling my eyes. “Can you all please be bridesmaids?” I croaked. The hug got tighter. They thought I was crying with happiness.