Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“What are you sorry for?” I asked. “I was the one who messed up—”
“No,” Con said with a shake of his head and then he opened his eyes. “No, sweetheart, you were perfect. Everything was perfect.”
I was beyond confused. “Then why—”
“When you asked what was happening now, I just thought…” When Con shook his head sadly, it hit me.
Hard.
“You thought I was having regrets,” I murmured.
Con just nodded.
Never in a million years would I have guessed the man above me was hiding such vulnerabilities. But there was no denying that he was. I thought back to how he'd hunched in on himself as he’d sat on the edge of the bed.
He'd been hurting.
He'd been hurting because he thought he'd lost me.
I reached my hands up to cover his cheeks and forced him to look at me. “Someone really did a number on you, didn't they?” I asked.
Con sighed and murmured, “A lot of someones.”
I didn't even know how such a thing was possible. Con was perfect as far as I was concerned. He was kind and gentle, but he had a fierce protective streak too. He made me feel safe and wanted. But he also made me feel needed.
“Con, when I asked what happens next, I meant after this.” I glanced at the bed briefly. “I've never done anything like this, so I wasn't sure if I was allowed to ask you to stay.”
“You never have to ask that, sweetheart.” He sighed again and lay back down on top of me, wrapping his arms around me in the process. I did the same to him and just held him for a while. I loved the feel of his warm skin beneath my fingers as I ran my hands up and down his back. His muscles proved how physically strong he was, but they said nothing of the man inside. The one who ached to help others. The one who seemed to feel too much sometimes. The one who made me feel like I was his entire world without even trying.
“Stay with me tonight,” I said softly. Con didn't respond with words. But I felt him nod against me, and then his lips were pressing soft kisses against my neck and along my shoulder. My body began to respond, but instead of continuing, Con rolled onto his back, though this time he took me with him.
I ended up pressed against his side, a position that was quickly becoming one of my favorites when it came to being with Con.
“I've never done this either,” he murmured.
I levered myself up on my elbow so I could look at him. “I find that hard to believe,” I teased.
The moment of levity worked and Con smiled. His eyes shifted to mine and then his fingers were skimming my temple, then my neck.
“I've never been in a relationship before,” he admitted. “There's been lots of guys, too many, probably, but it was always a one-night thing and as soon as I was finished, I left.”
I couldn't say that I loved hearing about him and other guys, but I wanted to know what drove his thoughts and actions so I remained silent and just let my fingers toy with his chest in the hopes that I could somehow soothe him.
“I learned pretty quickly when I was a kid that people didn’t tell the truth. My mom always promised that there wouldn’t be another guy that came between us. She promised a lot of things. But in the end, it was always just me. Me taking care of myself. I had to learn to cook for myself, I was the one who got myself up and ready for school every day, my nights were filled with witnessing one guy or another beating up on my mom followed by her losing herself in a bottle. I used to sleep on the floor in her room at night so I could make sure she didn’t choke on her own vomit. And then she was gone and there were all these adults telling me that everything would be okay.” Con stared at the ceiling as he shook his head. “It wasn't okay. It wasn't okay for a really long time.”
I leaned into Con and wrapped an arm around his waist and settled my head on his chest. I was glad when I felt his fingers playing with my hair. It meant that he was still with me and not in the past where he could so easily get lost.
“I always heard so many bad things about foster care,” I said. “That's why I was so terrified about losing Christopher and Rory to it. If I could have had some kind of guarantee that they'd have a better life…”
“It's a screwed-up system,” Con replied. “There's a lot of good people who are trying their hardest to make the system work, but they’re overworked and underpaid. I had a few good families here and there that took me in, but unfortunately most were just in it for the check. A couple were in it for more nefarious reasons.”