Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
“Jay, you need help,” she tells me again, her words a broken whisper. I nod my head in agreement though. My mind is fucked up, splintered and it hurts. It literally fucking hurts.
“I know,” I whisper back.
“I can take you to the hospital…” my sweet little Robin says, as if that’s the answer. As if there’s a cure for this. There’s not. I’ve already tried. I can’t be like this anymore. The only cure for me is her.
I try to blink away the memories of the nurse holding me down to the bed. How they had to tie me down. I had to behave so they’d let me go. I had to hide who I was, and what I’d done. But with her, I won’t have to hide.
“I won’t go back there,” I say and grit my teeth, my body tensing. “I’m not going anywhere, Robin.”
“Let me go,” she pleads with me, but that’s quite the opposite of what I’ll be doing.
I shake my head once and reach into my back pocket, my fingers slipping around cool metal. The handcuffs clink as I pull them out for her to see, and she dares to back away from me.
I snatch her ankle and yank her back toward me. Her fingernails scrape along the bed and she arches her back instinctively, but she lets me drag her close. It’s so tempting, the desire to push her obedience. I hover over her, my dick hardening and my breathing coming in heavy.
“Jay, please,” she whimpers with her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling.
“This wouldn’t be necessary if you hadn’t tried to leave me again,” I tell her and my own heart squeezes with pain as her face crumples and she lets out a sob. “I’m sorry,” she tries to say again, but it’s a silent statement.
I feel bad for her, I really do, but it doesn’t make the anger wane. Not in the least.
“I’ve waited so long,” I confess to her. I lower my head to rest on her chest, feeling the dirty silk against my forehead and breathing in her sweet scent. It fills my lungs as my hands reach up and grip the bed on each side of her hips.
I’ve watched her almost every day. Well, night. The knowledge that I have to wait makes me even madder. I can only see her at night. But every chance I got to make sure she was okay, I took. I had to; there’s a deep-seated need within me to ensure she’s okay.
She’s mine to protect. Mine to keep safe.
Yet she tried to hurt herself. “I knew you needed me,” I whisper against her skin and lift my head to look at her. Her lips are parted as she breathes, her hair a tangled mess against the white sheets.
I catch a glimpse at a smudge of dirt on the white sheet and my blunt fingernails dig into the mattress.
“This needs to come off,” I grunt through my clenched teeth, rising and gripping her nightgown in both hands. The handcuffs fall to the floor with a loud thud as she writhes under me.
“Jay!” she cries out my name, struggling to keep me from removing her filthy gown.
I let her arms flail, I let her nails scratch down my forearms, but I rip the thin silk fabric easily. It needs to come off of her. The memory of watching her lie on the dirty ground meshes with the sight of her running just now. I blink and there’s a child in front of me; I blink again and it’s her today.
My body sways as the memories taunt me. She left me. She didn’t have to today. She didn’t have to leave me again!
My body bristles with fury as I tear at the silk.
“Jay, please,” she whimpers and backs away from me as I rip the muddy fabric from her and throw it onto the cement floor. She scuttles away from me until her back hits the wall. “Jay, no!” she screams.
The look in her eyes is what stops me. She’s fucking terrified.
My body shakes as I calm my breathing. I blink again and again. My hands clench and unclench, and I stand there paralyzed.
A moment passes, and then another. I stare as Robin watches me cautiously and I wonder if John’s here, but I know he’s not. He’ll come back in the morning. It’s just us. I close my eyes and rest my knee on the bed, hanging my head low and hating that I’ve scared her.
“I-” I try to talk to her, to apologize and calm myself. “I need to clean you,” I tell her although I speak with my head down and then raise my head to look her in the eyes. “You need your things,” I say and try to sound sane. I know I’m crazy, I know I’m fucked in the head. But I’ll never hurt her. I don’t want to, anyway. “I’m sorry,” I whisper and crawl onto the bed, slowly and making sure she knows I’m here for her. She tries to cover herself with her hands, and my blood heats with both shame and desire.