Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
He was holding my gaze, and suddenly my heart felt like it was too big for my chest. I felt like I wanted to fuck him, of course. I always wanted that. But I also wanted… more.
And I didn’t know what that more might be.
Now my heart felt like it was pounding like a drum inside me. I leaned back on the couch, sucking in a lungful of air. Another glance at Adam’s eyes made me feel like I was only being pulled in deeper. Like some part of me belonged to him, even though I knew that was silly.
I cleared my throat, breaking eye contact before I felt like I was going even crazier.
“We can start up the movie,” I said, reaching down to hit play on the stream.
He sat up straighter on the couch. “You all good, Chase?”
“Good,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m good. Going to grab some more beer from the growler.”
I grabbed my pint glass and headed into the kitchen. It was a total mess still from the renovations, but I grabbed the jug of beer out of the fridge and put it on one of the work tables nearby.
I leaned over the table, pressing my palms against the surface and taking a slow breath in.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
And what was I afraid of?
I was having an amazing night with Adam. Sure, he’d met my family, and we were about to hang out in a way that didn’t involve our cocks being on camera.
But Adam knew me.
He knew that there was never going to be anything between us romantically. Knew that I was about as emotionally unavailable as a disco ball. He wasn’t demanding anything more from me than my usual, fuck-around, no-strings-attached self.
But that didn’t feel like myself, right now.
Which made me question just about everything I’d built my life around for years and years.
I couldn’t let it get to me. Nothing had to be weird if I wasn’t weird about it. I poured myself some beer and headed back into the living room, putting on the version of myself that I’d gotten comfortable in.
“Fuck yeah. Let’s watch this movie,” I said. “By the way, you look really fuckable when you’re arguing about superheroes.”
He gave me a sweet smile. “You’re too nice to me.”
Good.
That felt right. Joking around while telling someone how hot they were. If that wasn’t my comfort zone, nothing was.
I sat down on the couch and he leaned against me, getting cozy under the blanket as the movie played.
Everything was fine until Adam started snoozing lightly halfway through the movie. He had slumped downward until his head was basically resting in my lap, and my heart started doing funny things again. I loved seeing him sleep, and knowing that he was comfortable enough with me to fall asleep at all. It wasn’t about sex or his cock or how fuckable he was, even though he was definitely extremely appealing in every single one of those ways.
It was just him. And me.
And I realized something so simple but so world-shattering, as I gently ran my hand along his hair.
Being with him always felt better than being on my own.
And my heart didn’t know what to do with that at all.
22
ADAM
I blinked my eyes open to see my living room still shrouded in darkness. A small amount of light from my outdoor light was coming in through the curtains, but it was clearly the middle of the night, nowhere near dawn yet.
Almost instinctively, my usual loneliness crept in. I did this sometimes, falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie and waking up hours later all alone.
But there was a warm weight pressed up next to me. Chase was right there, sleeping soundly and breathing evenly. The light blond portion of his hair was illuminated, doing that thing where it made him look like he had a halo.
I wasn’t all alone, for once.
A yearning ache settled in my chest at the same time that my cock started to harden. I gently put my arm down around his shoulders, pulling him toward me while trying not to wake him up. We had both crashed out on my couch at some point, and we were slumped into the corner of the couch on a cluster of plush pillows. The deep, wide, super comfortable sectional was something I’d splurged on when I’d moved in, because it was more like a comfy bed than a couch. But until now, it had seemed like a bit of a waste.
All this couch, and no one to share it with?
But waking up next to Chase felt right. He smelled like him. I was somehow both turned on and cozy all at once.
I wasn’t supposed to want him for anything other than fun and sex, but he was so good with all of the other things, too.