Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Something rattled, deep in my chest. I swore I could physically feel the shields coming up inside me.
It wasn’t that I had any issue hanging out with Adam—exactly the opposite.
It was that having one of the best hookups in years followed by grabbing dinner together veered a little close to boyfriend territory in my mind.
I knew it didn’t mean that. I knew that I could hang out with him as much as I wanted and it wouldn’t necessarily mean any attachments were forming.
But I saw the way he looked in my eyes.
And really, I felt what happened to me, deep down, when I looked into his.
“I’m going to take off, actually,” I told Adam, averting his gaze so that I didn’t have to see if he was disappointed. “I’ll send you the video footage the second I have it edited, though.”
“Right. Okay,” Adam said.
I was dressed and out the door within another five minutes. The moment I got into my car, my chest tightened.
Was I really this closed off? I felt like a crazed bird in a cage. Right now, I could have been inside with Adam, comfy and ordering takeout, watching a movie and having a fun night.
He was so open. So receptive.
So fucking unafraid, with me, in a way I couldn’t have predicted. Something stirred inside me, a confused longing that I had no idea where to place. My heart slammed in my chest as I sat motionless in my car for a moment, idly watching a bird flutter from branch to branch on one of Adam’s front yard pine trees. The moment bloomed outward, like a bubble that wouldn’t break.
I could have gone back inside his house.
Instead I stuck the key in the ignition and headed off down the road, trying to ignore the feeling that I’d left something special behind.
16
ADAM
I stepped into Jade Brewery expecting a cram-packed, high-decibel experience like I’d gotten on trivia night, and instead I paused for a moment at the door, taking in something altogether different.
It turned out that at two o’clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday, Jade Brewery was actually one of the most peaceful, tranquil places in town.
“Adam,” Shawn said from a booth on the far end of the room, smiling and waving me over.
I nodded at him, adjusting the strap of my laptop bag on my shoulder. I headed over, marveling at the state of the brewery.
“This place is great at this time of day,” I told Shawn as I sat down in the booth across from him.
“You like it when it’s less busy?”
“Nobody’s here,” I said. “It’s like paradise.”
Shawn laughed softly, even though I hadn’t been joking, even a little bit.
It wasn’t fully empty, but the only people in here were a pair of women sitting at the bar, clearly finishing up after a late lunch, a gruff, lumberjack-looking guy over by the big metal brewing tanks, and Rush, the owner of the bar. Gentle music was playing, at a volume about five times lower than it had been during trivia night.
It was really nice. Almost the kind of place I’d rather be than at home alone.
“I like it a lot at this time of day too,” Shawn said, “and not just because I get better views of the love of my life behind the bar.”
“Right,” I said, looking over at Rush. “Did you and Rush meet here at the bar?”
Shawn shook his head. He looked every bit like a home contractor in his Fixer Brothers shirt and work pants, even though today he wasn’t working on any construction projects.
“Rush was my brother’s best friend growing up,” Shawn told me, a glimmer appearing in his eye. “If you want the truth, I had a crush on him for a long time before we ever started dating.”
That made my ears perk up. “Really?”
“Had a huge, hopeless crush,” Shawn confirmed. “I thought Rush wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”
Shawn hadn’t thought his partner wanted him?
Shawn Wood wasn’t just TV-show levels of handsome, he was also confident and great at his job. He and his brother had built Fixer Brothers from the ground up, and they were also some of the kindest and friendliest people I’d ever met.
If he could feel anxious about a crush, maybe I didn’t have to be so hard on myself.
Not that I should have been thinking about Chase again. It had been a few days since Chase and I had filmed each other, and I’d had the hottest fucking night of my life getting to suck his dick for the first time.
But he’d left my house quickly right after, and I’d been reminded of reality. I was still my same old lonely self, even if I’d been proud to suck his cock earlier that night.
I’d tried to think about anything else for the past few days, but it had been nearly impossible. I hadn’t received the final edited videos from him yet, but I kept checking my texts and emails, way too often.