Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 83211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I don’t want control. You’re wrong.”
She lifts a brow. “You do. If you control it, it can’t hurt you. You can put up your defenses and walls and feel protected. But, honey, that’s not how it works.” She takes my hand. “The only part of this that is your fault is if you walk away from that man who I bet thinks a whole hell of a lot about you.”
I swallow past a lump in my throat.
“You’ll have to break these habits,” she says. “You’ll have to learn to trust that giving other people a little bit of responsibility, trusting them to help you heal and to love you, isn’t going to hurt you. That’s your natural inclination because it’s how you’ve been taught life works. But you were taught wrong.”
I hug her again.
Breathing comes a little easier, and my stomach has settled some. If nothing else, she’s given me a lot to think about.
“I need to go,” I say.
“Where are you off to?”
“I have a new apartment, and I haven’t even seen it yet.” I shrug helplessly. “I need to get my stuff out of my car and into the building while I still have energy.”
“Need any help?”
I smile. “I’ll be fine.” Hell, might as well make it three. “I love you, Gretchen.”
“I love you more, Sara.”
The air is hot as I make my way back to my car. The wind is balmy as it licks my skin. I get in my car, shoving a box with my elbow to make room, and take off across town.
“Sara, you don’t know how to accept love.”
Banks’s face pops up in my mind.
“You won’t even rely on me. Do you think I’m incapable of helping you? Do you think I’m a flake? What is it?”
I take a deep breath and step on the gas. I’m a gas pusher, after all.
Banks
“Mom!” I call out, looking around the kitchen. “Mom! Where are you?”
“What do you want, Banks?” she yells from somewhere in the back of the house.
“I’m having an emergency here.”
“Oh, good grief,” she says before a rustle ends with a collision.
Shit. “Do you need help?”
She comes down the hallway from her bedroom, giving me a mom look. “I just dumped an entire box of safety pins all over the bathroom floor. Someone better be dying or something better be on fire.”
“I’m dying, and my heart is on fire. Happy now?”
She’s not sure whether to laugh or hug me. And if my heart wasn’t actually burning up, I’d be pleased that I could confuse her this much.
“Sit down,” she says, pointing at the table. “Do you need a drink?”
“No.”
“Am I going to need a drink for this?”
“Sara left, and I don’t know if she’s coming back except that a bunch of her stuff is at my house, but we didn’t part ways super great, and I think she’s mad at me, and I’m really kind of mad at her too because—”
Mom holds up a hand and then grabs a bottle of whiskey. “Hold, please.”
“Can you hurry up here?”
She pours herself a shot and downs it. “Whew,” she says, blowing out a long, slow breath. “Okay. Continue.” She waves a hand at me. “No. Start over and breathe as you talk.”
“My dumbass brother Maddox got Sara an apartment.”
She sits down across from me. “Yes, wasn’t that the plan?”
I just look at her.
“Never mind. Go on,” she says.
“Okay. So Sara’s stepmom, Sabrina, came by the house today—my house. Her daughter, Sara’s stepsister, came over because she had been in a fight with Sabrina. Sabrina went batshit. Showed her ass. And I, I’ll have you know, used class and grace with her.” I think that through. “Mostly.”
“I’m proud.”
“Thanks.” I smile at her, picking up a key on the table and tapping it against the wood. “It was hard. Anyway, so Sara gets embarrassed about Sabrina’s little rampage and then Maddox chooses that moment in time to say, ‘Hey, the apartment is ready.’ So Sara got her things from Sabrina’s and then met Maddox for the key. Meanwhile, I told her I love her, and she said she loves me too, but she has to fix this herself.” I suck in a breath. “Mom. I don’t even know what that means.”
Mom’s smile softens. “I’m really sorry, Banks. That must’ve been really hard for you.”
“Yes. It was. She says she’s not easy to love or something. But, Mom, she’s the easiest person to love. I fell in love with her without even realizing it was happening.”
“Maybe she needs a little space.”
“Hello? We don't do that in this family!”
She sits back and crosses her arms over herself, looking rather smug.
“What?” I deadpan.
“Nothing. I was just wondering when this day would come.”
I hold out my hands. Can we get to the important stuff here?
“The day my baby boy started putting someone else’s happiness above his own.”