Flaunt – Carmichael Family Read Online Adriana Locke

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 83211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
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Foxx: If I call there, will you pick up a key for me?

What? My fingers fly across the screen.

Me: You lost another key? That’s highly irresponsible of you. You really need to get your shit together.

Foxx: Is that a yes?

Me: I’m going to need you to promise me that you’ll do better. I can’t keep cleaning up your mistakes, Foxx. Some of us have a life too—lives a little more transparent than yours—but lives anyway.

Foxx: Never mind.

Me: I’LL GET IT. Damn.

Foxx: Thank you.

Foxx has silenced notifications.

“Well, isn’t that interesting,” I say as we enter the cheese section. I take packages of Muenster, Cheddar, Provolone Unsmoked, Colby Jack, and Havarti off the shelf and dump them in the cart. “Foxx lost another key.”

“Another one?”

“That’s what he said. Make sure I get it before we leave, okay?”

She nods. “Yeah. But do you need all that cheese? What on earth will you do with all of it?”

“Eat it.”

“On what?”

I look at her like she’s dense. “Usually my hand around two in the morning, but sometimes I put it on bread with a little ham.” I make a face. “Not turkey. Do you know how many kinds of turkey there are?”

Something hits me and I gasp.

“What?” she asks, stopping the cart.

“Turkey is an actual cousin to chicken. Fuck. I can’t eat that now either.”

She shakes her head again.

“I thought I was fucking Jess by getting those little shits, but I think I was fucking me,” I say.

“No, I was fucking you. You screwed yourself over.”

I smile wickedly at her. “I like this side of you.”

“From behind?” She looks at me over her shoulder. “I like it too.”

I growl, making her laugh.

We go through the frozen foods and grab the essentials. Toaster strudels, pizzas, and tater tots all get added to the pile of cheese. Sara gets things like salmon, broccoli florets, and gelato.

We are not the same.

“This is where all your money goes,” I say.

“Where?”

“All this food. Did you even look at the price of that shit? Tater tots are way cheaper.”

“In the short term. Blood pressure meds and hospital bills are more expensive than salmon.”

I scoff. “We’re going to have to do something about this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve ruined chicken for me tonight. Now I’m thinking negatively about tater tots. Could you please not ruin anything else for me?” I look ahead. “Caramel popcorn? Yes please.” I add two bags to the cart. “Hush. I don’t want to hear about diabetes.”

She laughs. “You’re a mess.”

We walk quietly through the store, each of us in our own thoughts. I don’t know what Sara is thinking, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. Actually, she looks really happy just walking around with me.

And I love that.

I snap a picture of chicken feed on an end cap as we go by. I upload it into a text to Jess.

Me: Do your babies need any food?

Jess: Come over tomorrow.

Me: I’m busy.

Jess: No, come over tomorrow. See what you’ve done.

Me: Can’t you send me a picture?

It takes a few minutes for it to load. But when it does, I start laughing.

A coop large enough to fit a three-person family has been placed in Jess’s backyard. Fencing and posts are on the ground as if he’s not done.

Me: I knew you’d love them.

Another picture loads of a sign. It reads What a Fuster Cluck.

I snort.

Jess: I should nail this to your front door.

Me: I’d rock with it.

Jess: Pippa got that today. She’s naming these chickens.

Me: Make sure one is after me.

Jess: We did. We call him Glitter. He keeps pecking the walls.

Me: He probably shines too bright that he’s annoying himself. I can relate.

“Do you know how to make lasagna?” I ask.

“Yeah. It’s not hard.”

“Think we could make some this week?”

She grins. “You mean do I think I can make some this week?”

“I’ll help.”

“I think I’d rather you not.”

Jess: Where are you?

Me: Grocery store. Need anything?

Jess: The pizzas you took out of my freezer.

Me: YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

Jess: It’s hard not to know when you had ten because there was a sale and you go to get one and there’s two.

Me: Oh.

I look up at Sara. “We need to grab Jess some pizzas.”

She points in the cart.

Me: Well, lucky you, we already have pizzas in the cart for you.

Jess: Tell Sara thanks.

Me: I will.

“I need to get a tie for the gala,” I say.

“That’s out of left field.”

“Which dress do you think you’ll wear? I think I’m supposed to match you.”

She thinks about it. “I dropped your mom’s dress off at the cleaner’s today before I came to the shop. So I could wear that one or the silver one I brought. What do you think?”

“I think you should try the silver one on for me tonight and then I’ll see.” I wiggle my brows. “Then we’ll go off which one results in the best sex.”


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