Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 142976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 477(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 477(@300wpm)
Referring to them as a—albeit pretend—happily newlywed, nesting couple was the exact opposite of what she’d meant. And he knew that, she knew he did, why else was he being so cagey right now?
“I said I’d be happy to live there alone,” she reminded, just to gauge his reaction. “I’ve created enough upheaval in your life.”
And his rant about her pregnancy last night had reinforced that fact.
“It’s not upheaval, it’s restructuring. And we’re figuring it out. Besides we agreed to lay that matter to rest for now, remember? No separating, at least not in the first year.”
“I don’t recall agreeing to anything,” she denied. “And after last night? Cade, this isn’t working. If you’re having such a hard time with my pregnancy, maybe it would be better for us to separate sooner rather than later.”
His jaw tightened, and he glowered at her through slitted eyes.
“No, we’re not separating, Fern. Not yet. I was in a bad space last night. It won’t happen again.”
“You finally revealed some of your real feelings, Cade. I call that honesty, and I prefer it to the way you’re constantly on guard around me. Watching your words, afraid to smile…”
“I’m not much of a smiler,” he muttered and she waved an impatient hand at the almost surly response.
“Regardless,” she snapped. “You’re never relaxed, always uncomfortable. I hate that I’ve created such tension in your space. I feel like an intruder, tiptoeing around you, while you’re always on your best behavior and scrupulously polite.”
“Would you rather I was rude?” His voice was equally baffled and frustrated.
“Yes, it’s better than trying to guess what you’re feeling. You’re so determinedly neutral and emotionless at all times, it’s hard to live with someone like that.”
“Neutral is my natural state. We can’t all be messy, chaotic bundles of emotion, Fern. If that’s what you’re expecting from me then you’re shit out of luck. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve or my fucking mood on my face.”
Fern lifted a hand to her mouth to hide her smile. Cade wasn’t as emotionless as he liked to think he was. He was currently outraged, confused, and more than a little offended and it was all there for her to see. Clearly telegraphed on his face and in his eyes.
There was so much more to Cade. Buried beneath layers of frigid austerity and determined stoicism, was a man more complex than even he realized.
“I’d just like to point out,” she murmured, her voice dripping with syrup. “That you were the messy, chaotic bundle of emotion last night, Cade.”
“I’m not the one who wandered off into the cold English rain.”
“I didn’t wander, I’ll have you know,” she corrected tartly. “I walked. With purpose and determination.”
His eyes flickered with laughter.
“In the rain.”
“It was quite bracing. You should try it sometime.”
“Promise me you’ll never do that again, Fern,” he murmured, serious now and she pressed her lips together to prevent them from quivering. “I don’t think I’d survive if you did that to me again.”
“I was upset, not thinking clearly.”
“I know and it was my fault. For that, I’m truly sorry.” His voice was brimming with sincerity and there was no doubt that he meant it. But there was still so much unresolved after last night, and Fern wasn’t sure she could trust him not to lose his cool like that again. Not where the baby was concerned.
She nodded, the only acknowledgment of his apology that she was ready to give. She was gratified that he’d said the words, but they needed to have a real conversation about the baby.
Very soon.
“Fine, Cade,” she acquiesced, returning to his previous point. At least this was one issue they could resolve right now. “We’ll go home. Together. I’ve got to say, I’m relieved. I may not do well in direct sunlight, but I’m not a huge fan of all this rain and cold.”
His eyes lit with confusion at her easy assent and his broad shoulders gradually relaxed as he sat back in his chair and took a sip from the midnight dark brew in his mug.
It must have been cold because he grimaced and angled a glare down at the offending drink.
Fern fought back another grin. So much for neutral being his natural state. The man was a jumble of emotion this morning.
And Fern loved it.
Chapter
Twenty-Four
“Ihave something for you,” Cade stated one evening a week later. Fern was curled up on the sofa, exchanging texts with Iris, who was rapidly becoming a really good friend. The woman had been disappointed when Fern had left before they could meet for lunch, but they’d been sending each other hilarious—sometimes off-color—texts and voice notes every day since they’d met. Once her awe of having a bestselling author as a friend had worn off—Fern had found herself excited and grateful about the blossoming friendship. The last friend she’d had such an instant connection with had been Margot.