Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
"Oh, that?" Mariah repeats from behind me. "That's all you have to say?"
I shrug my shoulder and continue weaving throughout the room, picking up the worksheets and straightening desks as I go. I'm not sure what else she expects me to say.
Okay, that's not true. I know exactly what she wants to hear, but I don't have the mental or emotional energy to invest in this conversation right now.
Two days ago, Michael Kincaid—Cade—walked back into my life and threw my world into a tailspin. It's been seven years since he walked away from me. Seven years since he ripped my heart out of my chest, and I'm still not over it. I'm still not over him.
Seeing him back here now hurts like hell.
At twenty-two, he was big, tall, and handsome in a movie star way. At twenty-nine, he's something else altogether. He's bigger now, one solid wall of muscle. He's still beautiful with that messy hair and blue-gray eyes, but there's no softness in them anymore, no sweetness.
He used to look at me, and I felt his love.
Now, those eyes are as hard as he is, steely and a little wild. The bandage on his forearm did nothing to cover the tattoos painting his golden skin. They ran down his arms in bold colors and stark lines. They're beautiful, even though I don't think he intended them to be. He's still beautiful, even though he isn't supposed to be.
For years, I've told myself that it's better he left. I tell myself that he did me a favor and that I never want to see him again. Some days, I almost believe it.
Today isn't one of those days.
I've tried so hard to learn how to hate him, but it never works.
He's a reminder of a past I'd kill to forget…and one I cling to because I have nothing else. He intrudes on all my memories of my childhood, overshadowing each of them with his powerful presence.
He's a cop now. No, not a cop. He's a federal agent. I'd heard rumors over the years, but I never believed them. He was always the smartest person I knew. He loved books and reading. Everyone else assumed he’d never go anywhere, but I knew better. I just never expected law enforcement.
Refusing to think about him was the only way I could protect myself from the devastation he left behind.
I lost everything in a matter of days. My family. Cade. Everything.
I'm still not over it. I stopped pretending a long time ago that I was. I had no closure, no chance to move on. He swore he'd always be here, but it was a lie. He left me when I needed him most. And I'm the one who pushed him out the door.
It's been seven damn years, and I still regret it. It still hurts like hell.
I've barely been holding it together ever since.
"You saw him, didn't you?" Mariah asks.
"He caught some kid trying to break into my house Wednesday night," I mutter.
"Goddammit, January!"
I spin to face her, shocked at how loud she is, only to find her with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. In her heels, she's a good six inches taller than I am at five-two. Her button nose is scrunched, her perfectly penciled brows furrowed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she demands, hurt flashing in her brown eyes.
I shrug, not sure I have an answer.
"Are you okay?"
"He didn't get inside." I place the worksheets on top of the desk beside me and then lean against the wall. Pushing my hair out of my face, I sigh heavily. Curtis Kaleo keeps sending his gang around, trying to scare me into leaving. He wants my block so they gain control of the park at the end of the street.
I know why he wants it and what he'll turn it into. They're building a new high school a few blocks down. He'll have his dealers working the parking lot every day...just like at every other park in his territory. He preys on kids because they're easy, because he's weak. But this park is mine. I'm not giving it up and I'm not giving up my house either. He'll have to pry them from my cold, dead fingers.
"Cade stopped him before he got that far."
"Are you okay?" Mariah repeats, and I know she's not asking about the attempted break-in this time. She's asking about Cade. She's the only person in the world who knows our history. When he left me, she was the one who put me back together again.
Am I okay?
"Hell no," I whisper, unable or unwilling to lie to my best friend. "Seeing him hurt like hell."
Seeing how little he cared hurt even worse than that. For fourteen years, we were inseparable. We went everywhere together, did everything together. Cade was always my biggest protector.