Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“Please.” My voice starts to tremble. “Stop.” And so does my body. “Yuki.” I’ve never even let myself think of his name, and even in my dreams, it terrifies me. But now I’m gambling everything on it—-
And it works.
Yuki is no longer moving, but he doesn’t turn to face me either, and bloody hell, but it has me torn between crying and laughing again. Oh, Yuki. Only a god would tear a girl’s heart into pieces and then expect her to run after him.
My knees knock against each other as I slowly make my way to him. With every step I take, a part of me waits for something to stop this from happening, for someone to interrupt us, just for the fates to prove I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.
But nothing happens, and gradually the inches between us fade into millimeters, until there’s no room to change my mind. Once again, azure meets emerald in an untouchable second, and oh. This part never changes. He’s still the Ursula to my Ariel, and the sheer beauty of him takes my voice away.
Time waltzes by, and sunlight flickers between us. I draw my breath then draw another. “So...”
“What do you want?” The hardness of his voice is jarring and incisive, smashing the whitewashed grip of nostalgia on my reality.
And just like that I’m back in the present, and I remember the most painful truth: the only boy I’ve ever loved...no longer wants anything to do with me. It’s in the way he looks at me, talks to me. The way his entire body is so tense, like he can’t wait for me to disappear.
Why? Why are you like this? Why?
I see his jaw harden, and it’s only then I realize that I hadn’t just cried the words out in my mind. They’re out in the open, like an exposed wound I can no longer deny.
“Why should it matter?” he snarls. “And shouldn’t this be the other way around? Shouldn’t you be angrier with me?”
“G-good question.” And this time, my laughter wins over the tears, but the sound comes out ugly and choking, and it only makes his jaw start ticking.
“So why the fuck aren’t you?”
“Because I can’t.” Again, the words are out before I can think them through, and again they’re not making me look any stronger. It’s the opposite, and if all he knew earlier was that I was hurting, what he knows now is worse.
But I’m way past caring.
Lifting my chin, I say haltingly, “I k-know what you asked Seiji and Momo—-”
He cuts me off with a mocking laugh. “And that’s all it takes for you to forgive me?” His voice turns scathing. “One nice little deed and it’s enough to wipe the slate clean?”
“Why are you being like this?” I demand shakily. “You would never have asked your friends to check on me if—-” I manage to stop myself, but the cold contempt in his gaze tells me it is too late.
“Since you seem to need me to spell it out – no one,” he stresses in a hard voice, “is asking you to figure out anything. But if you want to know the truth, then it’s that I made a fucking mistake. I wanted you to have Momo as a friend as a way of making up for dumping you. I never thought you’d be stupid enough to read anything else in it, and that’s my mistake.” His voice becomes grim. “That’s all this is. A mistake. Is that clear enough for you?”
I don’t answer.
I can’t.
Mistakes like me don’t have the right to.
Word of the Day: Goukon, n.
1. A portmanteau of the Japanese words ‘goudo’ (mixed) and ‘konpa’ (informal party).
2. A group date in which an equal number of men and women meet; activities often include karaoke, a whole lot of drinking, and maybe even a kissing game.
“I know that look on your face, Mom.” Kelly has been looking for me for some time now, and I finally break the silence, hoping it can at least reduce the tension in my room.
It doesn’t.
“You’re thinking I’m following after your workaholic footsteps, aren’t you?” It’s a little insider joke – everyone in the family knows I take after Jason more than her – but like most of my jokes, they fall flat and Kelly’s face remains unsmiling. I’d have thought any kind of distraction would make things better at this point, but when the heartbeat monitor suddenly lets out a large beep, I realize I’m wrong. Tense silence is so much better than that. Anything is better than that blatant reminder of how wrong—-
“I can’t put this off any longer, Kat. We need to talk about what happened.” Kelly’s voice is soft, but the look on her face says it all. It’s the exact same look she and Jason wore when Dr. Evans told them I had to be confined for at least three days. The official diagnosis is anemia and overfatigue, but everyone in the family knows that the unspoken ugly truth is—-