Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 27022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 135(@200wpm)___ 108(@250wpm)___ 90(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 135(@200wpm)___ 108(@250wpm)___ 90(@300wpm)
My brows knitted suspiciously. “Why? We’re not really together, so you don’t need to butter me up to soften the blow of a real breakup.”
His nostrils flared as if he was annoyed with me. Ryan inhaled deeply, then exhaled before leaning over the table to get right in my face. “Shut up and eat, woman.”
I swallowed hard and squeezed my knees together to stop the ache that started in my core. “Fine, talk.” I waved a dismissive hand in his general direction to focus on something else—hell, anything else—other than how turned on I was for some reason.
“Saying that we were a mistake was the fucking mistake, Torey. Worse than that, it was a lie. It was a cowardly lie at that. I knew that saying it was wrong and that it would hurt you and I said it anyway. That was the fucking mistake.”
Oh. I watched his big body as it paced the kitchen like a wild cat, big and lean and so graceful it was a sight to behold. “It’s okay,” I whispered.
“No, it’s not. Don’t let me off the hook, Torey. It was a shitty thing to do, and I wanted to take it back immediately, but that look in your eyes.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and growled. “Fuck, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get that look out of my head.”
“I forgive you, Ryan.” The words rushed out of my mouth before I could think about them but after a few seconds, yeah I meant them. He was truly sorry, any idiot could see that. And the fact that he was so torn up about it? Well that meant something to me. “Okay?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I mean thank you for that,” he aimed a strained grin my way. “But it’s not just that. I don’t live, Torey, not really.”
“Yeah, I kinda noticed.” My tone became more sarcastic because I didn’t understand his intensity.
He stopped just long enough to glare at me before he started pacing again. “I mean this town is technically my home, but it’s not where I spend most of my days. And, I like you. Sleeping with you, while amazing and incredible and will live in my head for the rest of my days, it’ll only make it harder on me when I have to go back.”
I swallowed down the excitement that bubbled up within me like a giddy schoolgirl over the fact that he liked me. I tried to stay casual. “It’s fine Ryan. You’ll be off again in a week, so we should just keep our distance unless we have to. It’ll be fine.” And that was exactly what I planned to tell myself every time my mind began to wander to fantasy land.
He shook his head again and stopped. “What I'm about to tell you... stays with you. Got it?”
“Um, yeah. Sure. Okay.”
“I’m serious, Torey. Fake relationship confidentiality clause.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that started so I didn’t bother trying very hard. “Okay. I promise.”
“I’m on medical leave. I got shot on our last mission—twice.”
I was up out of my seat in a flash and right in front of him. “Where? Are you that injured they sent you home? Show me,” I demanded and began to lift up his t-shirt.
“Torey, stop.” He gripped my wrists and held them between us. “I’m doing physical therapy over in Silver Bells but that’s not the point. The point is that I won’t be leaving in a week, at least according to my most recent session with the PT.”
My brows knitted. “Which was when?”
“Right before I came here.” At my shocked expression, he grinned. “I’m used to my days starting early.”
“Okay.” This was a lot more news than I was expecting this morning. I nodded absently and pulled from his grasp. “I need coffee first.” Ryan, my best friend’s super hot older brother, actually liked me was news enough. The fact that he’d been hurt and hadn’t told anyone was too much to bear, especially un-caffeinated.
“I’m sorry, Torey.”
Right. He was still sorry because it was great but it was a mistake because he wasn’t staying. His hands landed on my shoulders, the gesture both firm and gentle. I took a few steps back and stared up into those stunning green eyes, so filled with hope and sorrow. He wanted me but he didn’t want to because his future was outside of Holiday Grove.
“Are you going to say something?”
Was I? I turned and went back to retrieve my coffee mug and filled it with coffee. This morning required no sugar or milk. “What is it that you want me to say, Ryan?” I held up a hand to let him know he didn’t need to respond. “We had sex and it was really good. Really, really good if I’m being honest. But,” I emphasized the word just to make sure I had his full attention. “I never asked you for anything but this fake relationship. The sex happened. It was spontaneous and consensual, but that’s all it was.” I blew out a heavy breath and shook my head before I gathered my composure. “Thanks for clarifying though. I appreciate it.”