Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 25958 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 130(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 25958 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 130(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
And as I thought about that, realization of what the future could hold for me—for us—reality slammed into me, and my heart started pounding faster, harder.
I walked over to the sink and got down on my haunches, opening the cabinet door and rifling around in the back. I found the little box I’d picked up at the pharmacy just earlier today, one that had been an impulse buy, the weight of it reminding me how very real this could be in just a handful of minutes.
I stared at that pregnancy test box, my throat tight for other reasons that had nothing to do with me sleeping next to the toilet and retching. My period was late… God, maybe even two months late. And with everything going on in life, I just assumed it was stress. But also… I hadn’t actually been thinking about it or worrying about it.
After graduation, we’d gotten married in a simple, intimate wedding. It had been perfect. After that, we’d both found jobs rather quickly. Mal had found work as a mechanical engineer at a prestigious software company. And I’d gotten a position as a substitute teacher at the local elementary school, hoping it would lead to a full-time position.
And on top of all that, we were house hunting.
So I was feeling the stress of life and adulthood weighing down on me for sure. I hadn’t even realized I’d been so late until this afternoon when I passed the pregnancy tests and comprehended I hadn’t gotten my period yet.
I didn’t want to dwell or stress on it anymore, so I opened the box as quietly as I could, did the whole pee on the stick routine, then set it aside and sat on the now closed toilet lid and... waited.
It wasn’t as if we didn’t want children. We did. Really badly, if I was being honest. But we also wanted to be stable, have a home for our babies to grow up in, and have a comfortable life where we weren’t struggling.
Then maybe we should’ve been using protection.
I snorted at my thoughts. Mal was a... possessive husband. He liked going raw, being bare in me. He liked marking me. And what could I say? I loved it.
And as I eyed the stick resting on the edge of the sink, I thought about what it meant if the test said positive. At the thought of that, I grew excited, this happiness I’d never felt before moving through me so I couldn’t contain it.
A baby. A little piece of Mal and me wrapped in this tiny little person.
I placed a hand over my flat belly, imagining my stomach swelling, growing big with a new life. My excitement was short-lived as I felt that wave of sickness come back. I had the toilet seat up and my face hanging over it just in time.
And as I emptied my stomach, I felt strong fingers lift my hair away from my face. Another hand rubbed my back gently.
When I was certain I was done barfing and making a fool out of myself in front of Mal, I flushed the toilet, closed the lid, and was about to use my shirt to wipe my mouth, when a damp washcloth came up right in front of my vision. I didn’t know when he’d gotten it, but I was so thankful for this thoughtfulness.
I softly thanked him and took the rag, feeling the warmth of the water and knowing how lucky I was to have this man in my life.
He helped me off the floor, his hand still on my back as he rubbed it. I looked up at him, realizing his attention wasn’t on me but on the pregnancy stick that sat on the bathroom counter. This heavy weight settled between us, and I wondered if I should be the first to say something. He was still rubbing slow, gentle circles on my back and then curled his fingers around my waist, pulling me into the strength of his body.
“I realized today how late I was.” I licked my lips and tossed the damp washcloth into the hamper behind the door. “And when I was at the pharmacy, I picked one up. I woke up feeling sick and decided to take it.” I shrugged, although I didn’t know why I was doing that.
“Why did you wait until you got woken up tonight to take it?”
There was no accusation in his voice, no judgment. He was just curious. I shrugged again. “I guess I was a little bit scared, cautious. Nervous.” It was the honest truth, although it really made no sense.
I realized as I stood there and stared at that test that I did want this. I wanted a baby, even if life was hectic right now. I’d wanted to start a family with Mal since the moment we started our relationship. Every day, I feel even more in love with him, and I wanted us to take that next step.