Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
I’ve questioned whether my need for her in my life is more a bad thing than a good thing. We aren’t toxic exactly but my co-dependence on her could easily be seen as an issue from the outside looking in.
“Have you told her that’s all it will ever be?” he challenges. “You’re so in love with her that you don’t even see the other women watching you.”
My lip twitches in irritation. I hate that I’m so transparent to everyone but her.
An insidious thought begins to settle inside of me. What if she does see it, but she’s been ignoring it all these years because she’s hoping I’d give up on that delusion?
“That look on your face right now tells me that you’re not ready to be what she needs, and maybe you never will be.”
“I can’t just go to her and demand that she be mine,” I growl.
He’s quiet for a minute, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. “Can’t you?”
Instead of waiting for a reply, he opens the driver’s side door of his truck and climbs inside, leaving me on the sidewalk with less bravado than I had when I got that birthday card in the mail earlier.
Chapter 38
Adalynn
“And this?” I ask, holding up the cutest camouflaged bodysuit.
“Camo?” Madison asks, her hand going to the small swell of her stomach. “I don’t think she’ll like it.”
“She isn’t going to know the difference between this and a dress,” I remind her. “Plus it reads Daddy’s Hunting Buddy on it.”
“Chase doesn’t hunt.” Her nose scrunches up. “Does he hunt?”
I shrug, hanging the outfit back on the rack. “He’s your husband.”
I watch as she looks down at the diamond shining on her left hand. They got married in a small ceremony at their house two weeks ago, and it was everything she ever wanted. I helped as much as I could, providing a small cutting cake and a huge spread of cupcakes. I stood beside her like we always said I would as her Maid of Honor, while she promised to love her soulmate for all eternity. I even managed to keep the tears to a minimum when they sealed their vows with a kiss. I was able to sob in private during the reception without anyone knowing. I’d hate to have ruined her perfect day with my jealousy and the discontent in my own life.
“I was thinking more along the lines of—holy shit—”
“Madison,” I chastise. “Crap.”
I freeze when I see Cash striding toward us with determination.
A feeling of dread hits me square in the chest, making my stomach turn and the threat of losing the lunch I ate not long ago a very real possibility. The last time I felt it was the night he showed up on my front porch late at night.
He hasn’t approached me in weeks, seven to be exact, so there’s no real reason he should be doing it now, unless something is wrong.
“Madison,” I whisper.
“He’s not in uniform,” she says, thinking the same thing.
“Hey,” he says when he’s within hearing distance. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“You found her,” Madison says, drawing his attention. “Thank you again for the wedding gift.”
“You’re welcome,” he says, his eyes only darting to her for a second.
“You’re having a little girl?” he asks, his eyes landing on the purple-and-teal tutu Madison is holding, before looking back at me.
A sheen of sweat coats my skin when his eyes drop to the yellow bodysuit in my hand.
“Or twins?”
I lift my eyes to get Madison’s attention, but she’s watching him.
“I’m having a little girl. Adalynn doesn’t know what she’s having yet. So she’s shopping for neutrals.”
I could wring her neck. When Cash turns his angry eyes at me, I’m fully on board with doing just that the minute I get the chance.
“You’re pregnant?”
Tears don’t even have the chance to burn the backs of my eyes before they’re rolling down my cheeks. I fully understand now how Madison could cry over the simplest things. For the last couple of weeks, I haven’t been in control of my emotions, and not getting the chance to second-guess everything before reacting to it has felt like freedom. But right now, I hate my body and the way it’s betraying me. I’m supposed to be a fortress where he’s concerned.
“Can we talk?” he asks, his eyes darting to Madison before coming back to me. “Alone?”
Madison doesn’t offer to give us privacy, but I guess I shouldn’t expect her to. She’s been my champion the last two months, and she’s not going to shirk that duty now.
“Please?” he begs, and that’s all it takes for me to hand over the yellow piece of clothing to my friend and head toward the front door of the shop.
As quick as he was to ask for a moment alone with me, he’s not very fast at speaking once we’re on the sidewalk.