Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 62528 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62528 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Okay, not a woman. A dragon in boots.
Cimil smacked the gavel on the stone table of the large conference room in Sedona, Arizona. It was great to be back at their official headquarters, gearing up the godding machine again. With a little planning and hard work, things would be back to normal in no time.
No, not normal. Better than ever! Because this time, she would be in control, not those nasty, mature, boring old deities who were more interested in snuggling with their mates, having babies, and counting snowflakes. They were mighty gods, meant to rule! To smite! To grant wishes and then take them away and laugh! The best…
It was the Cimil show now. Endless wars—so fun!—utter chaos, so much death, and all the clown orgies one could want. Heaven! She just had to keep the original gods busy until everything was set for her big kickoff.
An influx of demons should do the trick. Compliments of Damien’s rage demon, which she’d cloned and brought back, using a scoop of brains she’d saved after it died. The thing had busted open all the portal seals with its unrelenting rage. How Damien had managed to contain such a deadly, violent beast for two hundred years, she didn’t know.
I wonder if he’ll pay Damien a visit. Wouldn’t that be fun? Family reunion!
“All right!” Cimil barked. “Quiet down, everyone. Silence. We have a long list of items to get through.” She looked around the room at the familiar faces of the other thirteen gods. They were identical in every way to the originals. Truly works of art.
“I need to tinkle,” said Votan.
“Where’s my graham cracker?” asked Kinich, the Sun God.
“Is it nap time yet? Has anyone seen my blankie?” said Zac, the God of Seduction.
Okay, they were identical in every way except one. They were newborns, kinda sorta missing seventy thousand years of life.
“Guys, guys.” Cimil waved her hands. “I promised everyone snacks, naps, and potty breaks after we get through lesson one. Now settle down.” She turned on the overhead projector, displaying a group of naked cavemen. “In the beginning, there were these idiots. And then there was us, the gods. But only one was smart and powerful and meant to be obeyed at all times. Me.”
TO BE CONTINUED…