Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
“Not before me,” Mum says.
Dad groans. “You’re such a slow reader, Carole. I’ll be waiting for next Christmas if I have to wait until after you’ve finished.”
“Maybe you can both wait until it’s published. I might even sign a copy.”
Paws against the terracotta tile pull our attention and a sleepy Labrador joins us.
“Absolute scoundrel,” Dad says. “It’s like having a sixth child.”
Mum shoots me a look that acknowledges Dad loves to complain more than he likes apple pie, then she smiles at me. It’s a smile that tells me she’s proud of me and there was never anything I could do to change that. It’s a smile I’ve seen a thousand times before, but I’ve only just understood its meaning.
Twenty-Eight
Ellie
Today’s the day. I’m a jumble of nerves and excitement as I pace in front of the sofa in my flat: Cordon Bleu Paris scholarship results are due out before three this afternoon. What is more unexpected than the nerves is the low hum of dread I just can’t shake.
What if I don’t get it?
And what if I do?
There’s a part of me that wants to get a yes from Paris more than I want to breathe. It’s a big part of me. Finally I’d have the fresh start I’m ready for. It will mean I’ve done something for me for the first time since I met Shane. Getting this scholarship feels like the final piece of healing that I need to be able to move on with my life.
But it would be the end of Zach and me. He’s going to be in London, working long hours, trying to juggle two jobs. I’ll be across the sea, working my tail off, finally investing in my future. Cracks are going to show and I don’t trust myself not to want to fill in those gaps by sacrificing things that are important to me—namely, my spot at Le Cordon Bleu. I need to relearn how to prioritize my needs. Until then, I can’t be with Zach if I’m in school.
But if I don’t get the scholarship and my dream takes a little longer, because I have to save the money, maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing. Which probably explains why I haven’t told Zach that the results are out today. There’s no point in creating a problem between us before there needs to be one.
I can hear Cynthia’s voice in my ear without having to call her and she’s screaming at me. There’s no way I can give up on even wanting the scholarship. I certainly couldn’t turn it down. It would be madness. I’m not going to repeat the same mistakes I made at nineteen with Shane. I’ve learned not to give up on my future to invest in someone else’s.
But Zach isn’t Shane. He’s the kindest, most generous human I’ve ever met. Not to mention handsome—could I ever forget the handsome? Am I supposed to give up on him—on us? Relationships should mean compromise, but I don’t understand how it’s meant to work and I don’t have time to learn on the job. Le Cordon Bleu is too important.
Either outcome today comes with a downside, and I don’t know which way is up.
I jump as my mobile rings. For a second I think that’s the school calling, but of course it’s not. They’ve stated very clearly that we’ll get the results by email.
It’s Zach.
“Hey,” I say as I answer the phone. It’s Monday and Zach’s at the hospital. If I hadn’t known his schedule, I’d be able to tell by the muted yelling and wheeling of trollies in the background.
“You okay?”
“Yes, of course,” I say, deliberately shifting my tone and trying to sound light and bright. “What’s going on with you?”
“Well, I just got a call from Mrs. Fletcher telling me she has two offers on my manuscript.”
Joy blooms in my chest. “That’s fantastic. Good offers?”
“Even more than she expected. She’s now saying she’ll switch gears and go for a round-robin auction.”
I’m not sure what that means, but I make a mental note to Google it when I get off the phone. “That’s exciting.”
“Being here makes it feel like cheating.”
I laugh and then stop abruptly. Cheating isn’t funny. I wonder if Shane started his affair when he was traveling. He’d often point out why it wasn’t practical for me to come along to his expos and appearances abroad, even when he was away for weeks at a time. I had appearances to arrange, finances to manage. How could I do all that and “tag along” as he put it?
But she—the woman he left me for—would have been there.
Maybe he cheated because it was convenient. Maybe to punish me. Maybe it was because he just couldn’t keep it in his trousers.
Whatever the reason, it happened. And it taught me a valuable lesson: long-distance relationships don’t work.