Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 59804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 299(@200wpm)___ 239(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 299(@200wpm)___ 239(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
I opened my mouth, then closed it.
“Santino?”
“There was an eldest brother a long time ago.” I didn’t talk about it. “He died when I was seven.”
She hesitated; the lone sound was that of dripping water. “How?”
I could barely get the words out. “He defied my father’s wishes, and I found him crying.” Tears pooled in my eyes. I never talked about this. I’d never told a soul. “I found him digging a giant hole out back, and he was crying so hard. I ran up to him and offered—” I sucked in a painful breath. “I offered to help.”
Tears spilled over onto my cheeks.
Katya pulled herself as close to the bars as she could and shoved her legs through the space between in an effort to hold me. “What happened next?”
“He got mad and said I shouldn’t help him dig holes anymore and I should just listen to Dad. So I left. Angry that he wouldn’t let me spend time with him. I remembered his laugh being so sad. He called me a little shit and said that he’d always love me. It was the first time anyone had told me they loved me. I was so blindsided by it that I just walked around the house in a trance with this weird warm feeling in my chest and wondering how the hell I was going to keep it there forever, only to realize minutes later that it wouldn’t last, not in our world. The funeral was held the next day.”
“Funeral?”
“At that same hole my brother dug. The funeral was held.”
Katya gasped, covering her mouth with her hands as tears streaked her cheeks. “He dug his own grave?”
“His final punishment, or lesson from my father. Nobody ever talked about it, but that is the sort of men that are left of the Sinacore Family, the men that will make you hate yourself, they’ll be cruel, heartless, and those are the ones my grandfather cast out—Mattia included. He’s just like my father. It’s easy to fear someone when you know what to fear, but Mattia? He’s unhinged. There is no reasoning, no logic, just rage, and narcissism. So you see, it’s not that I can’t beat him or that I can’t fight him. It’s that he’s the sort of person who would laugh while you dug your own grave, then spit on it as he pushed you into it and buried you alive. I can’t have you living like that, Katya, it makes me sick, it makes me so sick, I can’t…”
She released my hand briefly and went to the other side of the room. Even I disgusted her now, probably. Why did I tell her all of that?
She grabbed the dirty blanket and brought it over. “Here.”
“What’s this for?”
“Do you want it to be him or you?” she asked, voice clear.
“What?” I sat up.
She pointed to the clock; we have about twenty minutes before he comes in here to take me against my will. “Do you want it to be him that kills me or you?”
“How could you possibly even say that!” I yelled, jumping to my feet.
She did the same, her tiny hands balling into fierce fists at her sides. “I’m just saying, if that’s my future, I don’t want it. I’d rather die at your hands.” She smiled down at the ground. “I heard this story about how one of my uncles threatened to kill his wife, and there was like this whole thing about it being better that he do it than someone else, and I never quite understood why he would say that to another human, but I think, maybe, I kind of understand it now. At least, I want to… I don’t want to die in Mattia’s arms. I want to live in yours.”
I shook my head no, over and over, until I was dizzy with the word no, physically, mentally, spiritually; I couldn’t even handle hearing her say the words she’d just said, let alone mean them. “I won’t, I won’t do it.”
“It’s what you were made for, right?” She reminded me. “You can make it fast and stop all of this. I’m the chess piece he needs. A year ago, you wouldn’t have hesitated.”
“A year ago, I wasn’t in love with you!” I shouted, surprising myself, her, and probably anyone who might have been walking by. Chest heaving, I gripped the bars with both hands, discarding the blanket. “Don’t ask me to kill the one good thing, don’t ask me this, Katya. Don’t.” I choked. “Don’t make me bear this, please.”
She sobbed against the bars, her tears splashing onto my knuckles. “Sacrifice the few, save the many.”
“He’ll just figure out another way,” I rasped.
“But we can take this away from him for now,” she whispered.
No. No. No, there had to be another way. No. I wouldn’t.