Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
It was his turn to tremble.
Shocked, I widened my eyes.
What is he afraid of?
Kaz shook his head. “You want me to compromise on having disloyal people around you, I will not.”
“Kaz—”
“You are my future wife and the mother of my child.” He trembled again. “The things that I would do to keep you safe. . .” He sneered. “If you knew. . .you would run away, screaming. . .you would have nightmares.”
“That’s not how this will work.” I left his hold and walked to the other side of the railing. “We need a clear line of what you will and will not do to my men.”
“Enough. I already told you the line—”
“You know what? Just go upstairs, before I flip you off this balcony.”
Frowning, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Since we are arguing,” Kaz stepped back and leaned against the railing. “I might as well bring up something that pissed me off today.”
“Pissed you off?”
“Yes.”
I held my hands out. “Oh do share. I’m so fucking eager to hear your complaints.”
“You offered yourself up for Paolo and told Blue to take him back to me.”
“I did.”
“Do you know what would have happened to Blue if she followed your orders?”
“You would not have touched her.”
“The very opposite, mysh. If Blue told me that you traded yourself for Paolo that’s an automatic bullet to Blue’s head—”
“You don’t threaten my people!”
His voice rose, shaking the foundation. “You don’t threaten yourself and my unborn child!
I blinked. “It was a ploy, Kaz.”
He uncrossed his arms and fisted his hands at his sides. “Ploy or not, you never offer yourself up—”
“Let’s get back to you killing my people.”
“Let’s!” He headed over to me. “If they step out of line, I will kill them. If they don’t keep you safe and near me, I will kill them. If they ever come back without you, I will torture them for hours and murder them and their family and their friends, and I will not back down on that—”
“Then, we can’t continue—”
“You have no choice on that front!”
“You’re not even letting me finish the end of the sentence. “
“There is no need! I don’t like the beginning!”
“Kaz—”
“We can’t is not a thing and it will never be a thing for the beginning of any sentence!”
“Kaz—”
“We will! And we always will!”
I won’t. . . be able to get him to understand.
Helpless, I dropped my hands and turned away, shaking with rage. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. My breathing went erratic. So much panic hit me, I wanted to claw at my throat with my nails and tear through to my lungs.
“Mysh?”
I panted. “Don’t mysh me.”
“Are you okay?”
My heartbeats drummed through my chest. “Y-you won’t give m-me some chance for a compromise. Y-you just k-kill my people.”
Pain twisted my stomach. I held both of my hands to it and felt like doubling over. “Y-you expect me to just t-take it.” My voice cracked. “I love you so much.” My vision blurred with tears. “B-but you are going to. . .push me away.”
His big arms wrapped around me as he hugged me from behind. I violently shook within his hold. “Mysh, I am sorry.”
“Y-you’re not.”
His voice lowered. He tightened his hold, anchoring me, giving me warmth, and taking some of the cold panic away. “Breathe, mysh.”
I leaned the back of my head against him and closed my eyes. I focused on slowly inhaling and exhaling.
He tenderly rubbed my arms. “Lunita says I go too far.”
“You do.”
“Am I going too far now?”
“Yes! Are you serious right now?” I trembled. “Of course you just went too far.”
He went silent, but wouldn’t let me go.
Tears spilled from my eyes.
He brushed his lips against my cheek. “I don’t want to back down on this, mysh. This is about your protection and my child’s safety. Tell me how I fix this.”
“The only way to fix this is backing down.”
“But, your people must always keep you safe. That means Lunita too.”
“Kaz, Max and I run Harlem Crew, not you. Don’t make Harlem Crew be what causes a divide between us.”
“Saying things like that makes me want to kill them.”
I tried to leave his arms.
He wouldn’t let me. “What did I do now?”
“You threatened Harlem Crew.”
“But. . .” He cleared his throat. “Okay. I chose to threaten them because I do not want anyone causing a divide between us.”
I turned around in his arms and faced him. “You are the only one that could cause a divide.”
He blinked. “By killing them?”
“Yes!” I shook my head. “Why is this so hard to understand?”
He groaned in utter annoyance. “Because I am not built any other way, mysh. All my life, I have been taught that it is us or them. Violence and blood. Not giving people another chance to disappoint. Not compromises. Not accepting disloyal soldiers.”