Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
“What the hell do you mean you’re not convinced?”
Max shrugged. “Sure. You are quiet and shit when you kill people, and you look really weird like something is wrong with you. Like you're possessed or something, but I wouldn't say it's a different personality.”
I held out my hands. “That sounds like a different person.”
“Is it though?”
“Max, I don't remember any of the shit that happened last night or when you've apparently seen me being different.”
“True.”
“It's another person.”
Max frowned. “It's just you going dark.”
“It sounded like I did more than go dark. This Lunita is—”
“No. No.” Max waved his hands.
“What?”
“Now you're saying the name too?”
“What else am I going to call her?”
“Dark Em. Demily. I would even feel better saying Eminta, but not Lunita.”
“Why not?”
“Long story, Em. I'm just saying—”
“Max, it doesn't matter. I’ve got to fix this. I can't be two people and raise a kid. I have to be one person.”
“Listen.” Max held his hands up and blew out a long breath. “We're. . .”
“What?”
“We're going get through this like we always do.”
My heart ached.
I headed away.
Max met my pace again.
I fixed my robe, even though it was just fine.
“Say something, Em.”
“I wish I could smoke a joint.”
“Me too.”
I slowed my pace. My slippers were starting to feel heavy, and I swore the ground had shifted to sinking sand. “Max. . .”
“Yeah?”
“I have so many questions.”
“Ask them.”
My voice went hoarse. “I'm scared.”
“Shit.” He shrugged. “I'm scared too.”
I let out a long breath.
Harlem trotted on my side.
“Em. . .”
I looked his way. “Yeah?”
“When X and I were dealing with your. . .dark side. . .”
Shivers ran through me.
“Look, Em. Back in the day, we didn't have a lot of fucking resources. You know?”
“Yeah.” I looked away. “That wasn't right.”
“I know. I'm sorry we didn't say anything.”
“No. I'm not talking about that. I'm saying it wasn't right that X and you held on to such a massive secret and cleaned up all my messes. I feel guilty about that. You both have been through enough—”
“Em, you been through a lot too. Don't shed tears for us—”
“I don't want you cleaning up my messes anymore. I can—”
“Fuck that.” Max got in front of me and blocked my walking forward. “Fuck everything you're saying.”
“I can handle this stuff now.”
He pointed to me and then touched his chest. “We're in this together.”
“Max, listen to me.”
Leaning my way, he gritted his teeth. “We're in this together.”
I looked up at him.
Barely an inch ran between us.
Usually, I would have felt like roaches were crawling over my skin. In this moment, I experienced the opposite—comfort.
Max lowered his voice. “We're in this together.”
“We're not.”
“We are, Em.”
“Lunita is in my head not yours.”
“Yeah, but. . .I need to help.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“I don't.”
“Em. . .”
“What?”
“My dad put Lunita there.”
Tears threatened to come. Blinking, I walked around him and rushed away. “You're not your dad, Max.”
He didn't get by my side. Instead, he walked behind me. “Doesn't matter.”
“It does.” Tears left my eyes. I wiped them away. “It does, Max. It really does.”
“Don't push me away, Em.”
“It's not about pushing you away. I want you to have a life—”
“Without you?”
“No.” Shiver, I hugged myself. “No.”
He got back to my side.
I shook my head. “Max. . .I can't live without you.”
He kept my pace, but stared off in the direction of the ocean.
“I love you.” I looked at him. “And I don't like to be away from you for too long. It makes me uneasy and. . .sad.”
His gaze stayed on the ocean. “Yeah?”
“Yes. I mean. . .I know it's. . .selfish.”
“It isn't selfish.”
“It is.”
He moved his view forward.
In that moment, I realized his eyes were watering too.
Max frowned. “It's not selfish. You know I feel the same way too.”
“Do you?”
“Of course.”
“Sometimes I think you like. . .”
“What?”
“I think you like being away from me.”
He shook his head. “Never that.”
“You're always smiling when someone mentions Misha.”
“Oh. Well, that's different. That's my homey.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Misha and you are my family. I love you two.”
“Whatever. Misha is not on my level.”
Max chuckled. “You're so jealous for no reason.”
We approached the small path leading up to the hotel.
Max continued, “But, Em, you know where you stand with me. You're my heart.”
I held my hands in front of me and twisted my fingers together.
“I love you more than I love myself.”
“Don't say that, Max.”
“It's true. And you know I don't give a fuck about cleaning up your messes because you clean up mine.”
I sighed. “Because I love you too.”
“Shit.” Max winked at me. “If you or Demily kill someone, I'll just grab a shovel and dig a hole.”
“Could we not make Demily a thing?”
“It's short for Dark Em.”
“I get that.”
“Then, what do you think about Dem?”
“No, Max.”
“Well, I don't like Lunita.”
“Kaz named her that.”
“Yeah, but. . .this voodoo woman told me that name days before I even returned to Italy.”