Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
It’s like we’d be shattering everything we’re building…
But that’s the thing.
I don’t know what we’re building, do I?
And it might not even matter.
“Okay,” Hayden says calmly.
“I thought you’d have a bigger reaction than that.”
I’m sure I can hear him smirking, but I don’t know how. My body aches to be close to him, physically, to sink my teeth into his chest again.
Or simply to lie in his arms and let him hold me, luxuriate in the impossible becoming true.
“Is she going to tell Graham?” he asks again in that calm voice.
“No,” I say. “We spoke last night, and I wasn’t sure. But this morning, she said it’s my decision to make. She can’t do it for me.”
“I wouldn’t care if she did,” Hayden says. “I would, for Graham…I’d care about his feelings and how he responded. But in terms of us, Hallie, it wouldn’t change anything.”
My mouth tries to shape the words, does that mean you really care about me?
But something holds me back, perhaps the thought there could be another interpretation of what he said.
It wouldn’t change anything, fine, but what does that mean?
I’m not sure what it would be changing from.
“There’s something else,” I murmur.
Really there are two things, the virgin issue, and the mom thing. But I don’t see the point in telling him I’m a virgin now.
It’s not like we’re going to be seeing each other in person anytime soon.
We agreed that last night.
Speaking on the phone, fine….
But in person, he won’t be able to control himself, he said. And if he comes at me like he did that first night, all brimming with primal possession, I know I won’t be able to stop either.
“Tell me,” he says after a pause.
“Mom was acting really weird earlier.” Despite knowing mom and Lila are out, I look over my shoulder, scanning the house, and then turn back to the garden. “She wouldn’t tell me why, but she said she wants to meet at work. She never asks me to do that unless we’ve arranged lunch or whatever, and we haven’t got any plans today. It’s my fault.”
“Hallie…,” he pauses. “Your fault?”
“Last night, when we were….”
“When you were driving me feral,” he says, his voice suddenly intense. “When you were making me think about speeding across the city and dragging you into my car.”
“Hayden,” I say, my voice croaking a little, my body warming up.
“I know. But you’re so difficult to resist, even over the phone.”
“You too,” I whisper. “But mom might know. I think maybe she heard, and that’s why she called me in. She’s busy at work now, with dad being away.”
“She asked me to come in, too,” Hayden says.
“What?” I almost yell, sitting up so fast that my laptop nearly drops from my lap.
I grab it, put it on the table, and stare at the still frame of the instructional video.
“Today at….”
“Three,” I interrupt.
“Yeah.”
I pick at the table's wooden surface, not even meaning to. Half of me wants to leap up and run straight to Hayden, and the other wants to sink into a hole.
“So she knows,” I say. “That’s it. It’s over.”
“We don’t know that,” Hayden snarls. “She knows, fine, but that doesn’t mean it’s over.”
“I’m so annoyed at myself. Why did I have to yell last night?”
“You were as excited as me,” Hayden says.
“I was.”
More than you, actually, I almost add.
But what’s the point now?
This is getting rushed right to the end before we have a chance to know what the other person feels and if there is anything to know.
“Hallie, if your dad finds out, we’ll have to deal with it.”
I spring to my feet, pacing to the other end of the garden, pausing at the flowerbeds.
As I stare down at them, I warn myself not to let all my emotion into my voice. If I did that, I’d be truly screwed with no way back, no way to convince him I’m not absolutely obsessed.
Which I am.
I just wish he was too.
“Hallie?”
“Deal with it,” I mutter. “How, exactly? He’s going to find out over the phone during what should be one of the best months of his life. He was like a little kid on Christmas, leaving for that trip, and now….”
“I know. But we’ll explain.”
“Explain what?” I say. “How much fun phone sex is together?”
He laughs gruffly. “I wasn’t thinking about starting there.”
“Where, then?”
He pauses, and I warn myself to stop pushing and asking. There’s no way this ends in a positive way.
Stop being so pessimistic, I try to tell myself.
Normally, when I think of stuff like that, I try to imagine Lila saying it to me since she’s the one who always helps me with stuff.
But this morning, when mom told me she wanted to meet, Lila only gave me a pained look.
“I don’t know,” Hayden says after a long pause, leaving me to wonder if he was going to say something else.