Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 140940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 705(@200wpm)___ 564(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 705(@200wpm)___ 564(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
“Yes,” I breathed out and lifted my view to him. “All parts of me.”
He put his gaze back on Lunita.
My throat felt like it was closing up.
To my shock, a sly smile crept onto Kaz’s face. “Lunita. Lunita.”
O-kay. Don’t be too happy.
While I was glad he wasn’t disgusted, I didn’t want him to get super excited about seeing her either.
His gaze softened. “You put flowers in her hair.”
“That’s what she looked like when I saw her.”
Shock and terror covered his face. “When. . .you saw her?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed and gestured to the painting. “When I took that drink, I went to this dark land and the building was there. . .”
He frowned. “You were there by yourself?”
“Yes.”
The frown deepened. “Delphine should have gone there with you.”
I blinked. “I say that I go into my head where there is some surreal place with a building and you’re mad Delphine didn’t walk with me.”
“I do not like that you were alone.”
My heart ached. “Well. . .as you can see. . .I wasn’t completely alone.”
He turned back to the painting and walked over to the little girl’s image. “What is her name?”
“They just kept saying, the little girl.”
“Mysh.” He looked at me and a smile tugged at his lips. “She is holding a lion.”
I parted my lips.
“She likes me.”
“Well. . .I think so.”
“Definitely.”
“She did call him Kaz.”
“There you go.” He grinned and looked back at her. “She is happy that I am in your life and sees me as her comfort. Her protector.”
O-kay.
He sighed. “I just wish I could give her a bigger lion.”
Oh baby. . .
Some of the tension fled me.
He studied her for another minute, taking in every small detail. “Tell me more about the little girl.”
“W-we’re really going to do this?”
He glanced at me. “Do what?”
“Accept this?”
“Are there other options, mysh?”
“You could grab the boys, run off, and race out of my life.”
“If you do not catch me, Lunita will.” A dark chuckle left him. “There is no escaping the Mouse.”
“That’s not funny.”
“It actually is.” He put his view back on the little girl. “Tell me about all of the versions of you, staring with her.”
Love.
This all-consuming love rushed into my heart.
All my life I had wanted a love like this—the sort talked about in books or shown in movies. The all accepting kind, where the man would truly do it all for the woman he loved.
And here, that love stood right in front of me.
My eyes watered. “Kaz. . .”
He put his attention on me. “Yes, mysh.”
“I-I love you.”
“And I love you.” He returned to the painting. “And now I will love them.”
Oh my God. I’m really going to take the Lion down the rabbit hole. Let’s just hope he doesn’t bomb Alice, the rabbit, and the rest.
I let go of my hands and stood straighter. “I saw the little girl before. I thought it was a dream, but I guess I had gone deeper into my head, my subconscious.”
“She is adorable.” He studied her. “Is she your lost innocence?”
“M-maybe.” I gulped down unease. “Apparently, she was the second alter.”
Smart as always, he slipped his gaze to the outline of a woman on the little girl’s left. “And this personality was the first?”
“Yes. She’s called Amber, but I never got to meet her.” Thinking about her made me uneasy again, I went back to twisting my fingers. “She. . .experienced most of the sexual abuse. That’s all that she remembers.”
He gazed at me, and rage flickered in his eyes. If that bastard who hurt me had still been around, Kaz would have tortured him longer than I would have.
Probably even longer than Lunita.
I could see the violence in his eyes.
And. . .I felt so fucking safe.
My nerves calmed. “So. . .there’s a tunnel, sewer thing under the building and Amber hides there a lot.”
“Like you used to hide in the sewers and abandoned tunnels in New York?”
I stiffened. “Y-yes. . .”
So much had occurred, I never put the similarities of that together.
“Amber is why you always felt safe down there.” Kaz nodded to himself, understanding me better than I understood myself. “She is the part of you that eagerly runs into the darkness.”
“Maybe.”
His eyes, always so piercing and discerning, lingered on each representation of my fragmented self with a reverence that made my heart swell and ache in equal measure.
He went over to Lunita, the embodiment of my rage and fighting survival instinct. Those vibrant flowers in her hair were a stark contrast to the darkness she was born from.
“You really did see her.” He pointed at her eyes. “You captured all of the anger in those pupils. The fierce terror.” His voice went low and thoughtful. “But you missed the knife in her hand. Or did she not have one?”
“I was the only one with a knife.”
Again, he snapped his view to me. “Did you cut her?”