Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 140940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 705(@200wpm)___ 564(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 705(@200wpm)___ 564(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
A piece of my very being.
Will he wake up? What if. . .he doesn’t?
Terror—so profound—it shook the very core of my being.
Where do we go when the light fades?
What becomes of our love, the shared moments, the whispered secrets when death calls?
Would they dissolve into nothingness?
Would they linger in my heart?
Would I. . .somehow still be able to feel him near me?
I opened my eyes, not wanting to cry anymore.
Tears spilled anyway.
Kaz held me tighter in his arms. His presence was a lifeline in this storm of emotions raging within.
What would I do without Max? How could I even. . .live without him?
The car stopped, and for a moment, so did everything else—my heart, my breath, the very earth itself paused, waiting for me to shatter. I was on the brink, staring into the abyss, terrified of the inevitable, of the unknown, where the journey of death would take him, take us, and what it meant for the love that seemed too vast, too deep to be contained by the confines of life and death.
Kaz brushed his soft lips against my ear. “Mysh, are you ready?”
My bottom lip quivered. “Yes.”
I figured we were at the hotel. There was no need to check. I didn’t care. All I wanted was my phone to ring and a doctor to tell me that Max was awake and making jokes.
Please, God. . .please. . .
“Come on, mysh.” Kaz helped me out of the car.
I struggled to keep my composure, to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape, afraid that once I started crying again, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
I didn’t even remember the journey from the car to the hotel.
The walk was mechanical, my body moving on autopilot while my mind remained trapped in a whirlwind of grief and fear.
Max gripped Lemonisha and winked at me. “Eh, Em.”
“Yes?”
“I love you. Don’t forget that.”
Nervous, I placed my hand on my hips. “Stop talking like you’re not coming back ever. Don’t make me kill Misha.”
“Man, I’ll be back. Stop tripping. I just need to help him with some shit.”
“Misha doesn’t know how to share.”
“Naw, Em.” Max chuckled. “You don’t know how to share.”
“You’re mine. I don’t have to share.”
“You been around the Lion too much. All his B.D.E. is starting to seep into your pores.”
I couldn’t have told you what occurred on the elevator. It could have been filled with people or empty, music playing softly or silence enveloping us—it didn’t matter.
Kaz just held me close as my thoughts remained consumed with Max.
These motherfucking Cartel bitch ass people put you in a hospital bed. Death won’t be enough for them. Now I want to bomb. . .
At some point, Kaz guided me inside our room.
It was all a blur in my mind—minutes and seconds lost in overwhelming sorrow.
Time stretched.
Warped.
However, I do remember the moment Kaz took me into Emilio’s room and I kissed our son’s forehead. Emilio’s soft skin had been warm against my lips. The scent of baby powder soothed my nose.
Max. . .you have to survive. There is your nephews to think about. . .
Paolo lay in a cot next to the crib with his tiny frame curled up in a ball and his fingers tightly clutching his pillow.
Paolo’s nanny explained that he had a nightmare and for some reason wanted to sleep next to his brother.
Had Paolo somehow known what happened tonight?
Or was it the energy of this city, bothering my baby?
I gazed at our sons, and my heart swelled.
Somehow, despite the torment gnawing at my insides, I found strength in their innocent slumber. They were still so blissfully unaware of the cruel world that waited for them outside our safe bubble.
I gently brushed my hand through Paolo’s silky hair and whispered, “Promise me. . .that you won’t follow our footsteps in this life. . .be better. Never pick up a gun.”
Paolo stirred slightly under my touch but did not wake up.
“We should go, mysh.” Kaz took my hand and guided me away.
Minutes later, I sat in an oversized hot tub big enough for at least ten people. Warm water rose up to the center of my chest.
Tension eased in my muscles.
The seats molded into the sides provided a place to rest, but my mind was far from relaxed.
Candles flickered around us, casting a soft glow over the scene, but their warmth did little to soothe the ache in my chest.
Steam rose from the surface, swirling around me in lazy tendrils.
Kaz sat on the opposite end of the tub, offering a silent source of comfort amidst the chaos. He took slow sips of his beer, and his gaze was gentle yet understanding as he watched me.
Despite the weight of my heartache, I couldn’t help but be grateful for Kaz.
Fuck. . .
My thoughts drifted back to Max, lying in that hospital bed, fighting for his life.