Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
I want to scream at him, I don’t want a real future, I don’t want some stupid job, I want you. But I’ve already debased myself enough as it is.
Instead, I tilt my head. “This job isn’t over.”
“I’m aware of that.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. “I’ll work on how to fix things with the Crowleys. It’ll be complicated, but I’ll manage.”
“Liam’s not going to make it easy.”
“All the more reason for you to stay here. Stay away from the Crowleys. If you come with me, if we’re living out there full-time, there will be too many opportunities for us to screw this up and get you hurt. I can’t live with myself if something bad happened.”
“What then? You just want to leave me behind? I thought we had a deal. I wanted to do this.”
“I know,” he says, turning away from me, jaw flexing like he’s holding his emotions in check. “I still want you to come too. That’s the worst part. But when Janine mentioned Appalachian Peaks was hiring, I couldn’t just ignore that. I knew you’d be perfect for that job. I knew it’d be like a dream come true if they called, and they did. How could I look at myself in the mirror if I’m so selfish that I’d keep you from something like that? When I have nothing better to offer?”
That’s my decision to make.
I should be allowed to choose if what he has is better.
But some of what he’s saying makes sense. He didn’t go out looking for this job opportunity—it fell into his lap. Would it have been right to keep it from me? Maybe I get the job—maybe I don’t.
He gave me the choice.
And I chose to take the interview.
That says something about me. About what I really want.
“I understand,” I say, staring at my drink. “Maybe it won’t matter and they won’t hire me.”
“They will,” he says, sounding exhausted. “They’d be stupid not to, and I don’t think they’re stupid.”
“Thanks,” I say, blinking back tears. I stand up abruptly. “I think I need to head to bed early.”
“Fiona—”
“No, it’s okay, I’m okay. Really, I’m fine. I have an interview for a dream job, why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m not moving to Boston with you, so what? This should be better, right? A job all my own?” I laugh, sounding hysterical. “It’ll be great, really, Gareth, you made the right decision.” I breeze past him, down the hall. He stands there watching me, but I don’t look back.
I close my bedroom door, lock it, and sink to the floor. I finish the wine in two big gulps.
He was right to get me this opportunity.
He did it for me—to make me happy. To give me something real.
So why does it feel like I’m being banished? Like he’s punishing me instead?
Finally, unable to help it, the tears break loose from my throat.
Chapter 37
Gareth
I lean over the bar at the Oak Club. Ford’s on my left, Carmine’s on my right. The wives are out together having dinner, while the kids are with a couple of expensive nannies.
Babies, babysitters. That’s a life I’ll never have. I grimace, thinking about Fiona sitting on some terrace, sunlight in her hair, belly swollen with my baby. That’ll never be my future. It’s a strange, painful realization, but maybe one day I’ll be at peace.
I made the right choice, getting her this interview.
She made the right choice accepting it.
So why does it all feel so fucking wrong?
“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Ford says, sounding depressed. “Gareth, bro, I’ve really liked having you here.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Carmine says, grinning at him. “He’s not dying. He’s just moving to Boston.”
Ford groans. “I almost wish he were dying instead.”
I give him a look. “That’s insane.”
“Boston’s such a shitty city.” Ford shakes his head. “I wish you were moving anywhere else. But fucking Boston? I’ll have to come visit you there and… like… go to an Irish pub.” He shudders as if it’s a fate worse than death.
“This coming from the guy that loves cliché Texas roadhouse bars,” Carmine says, rolling his eyes. “Relax, Ford. Gareth is lucky he’s getting out to the East Coast. It’ll toughen him up. He’ll get to experience winter for real.”
“Winter,” I say with a sigh. “I forgot about fucking winter. Remember slipping and sliding down the sidewalks at Blackwoods?”
“Snow. Slush. Sleet. Cold so cold your dick falls off.” Carmine nods slowly. “That’s what makes a man a man.”
“I hate snow,” Ford says with a grim look. “I don’t miss snow at all.”
“It’ll be fine, all right?” I throw back my drink. “I’ll settle in. Visit here as much as I can. I doubt Crowley expects me to live there all year round. I’ll take weekends in Dallas. Besides, Fiona will still be here too.”
Carmine’s eyebrows raise. “She’s not coming with you?”