Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 119746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 399(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 399(@300wpm)
After everything we’ve done.
A twig snaps in the underbrush, making me freeze. But it’s just a deer, white tail flashing in the moonlight as it bounds away, a straggler heading some place safe to hunker down for the night. I let out a breath, flexing my fingers against the urge to reach for the knife at my belt.
Can’t be too careful out here. The fellas call me paranoid, but they don’t know what I’ve seen. They don’t really know what’s waiting for us. I pray they never do.
But prayers have an expiry date.
I force my feet to keep moving, to follow the well-worn path through the trees. Overhead, the clouds gather fast, blotting out the moon and stars, the wind sharp and cold as it barrels down the mountain.
I’m so lost in my head, I almost miss the light in Aubrey’s cottage window. Almost.
I pause at the edge of the tree line, watching. She moves behind the thin curtains, a silhouette backlit by the warm glow of the lamp. For a moment, I let myself imagine what it would be like to be in there with her. To chase the chill from her skin with my hands, my mouth. To bury myself in her softness and her heat and forget, just for a little while. Can’t remember the last time I had a good fuck, that I let my worries reduce to nothing.
But forgetting’s a luxury I can’t afford. Not with the ghosts that dog my heels and the debts that hang around my neck like a noose.
Marcus’s face flashes through my mind, smug and cruel. The memory of our last conversation tastes like copper on my tongue, sharp and metallic.
“You owe me, McGraw,” he’d said, blowing a plume of cigar smoke in my face, cigars I’d given him as a gesture of goodwill. “And I always collect on my debts. One way or another.”
I tear my gaze away from Aubrey’s window, disgusted with myself. I’m in no position to offer her anything but trouble. No matter how much I might want to.
And god help me, I want to.
I force my feet to keep moving, to carry me away from temptation and back to the cold reality of the work that needs doing. There’s gear to be checked if we’re heading up there, routes to be charted. A thousand details that could mean the difference between life and death in the Sierras. Not to mention making sure everything is secure here for the storm.
Eventually my walk leads me back toward barn where Eli is waiting by the pen, his face grim in the harsh light of the floodlamps. He falls into step beside me, our breath clouding in the frigid air.
“You still sure about this, boss?” he asks, voice low. “Taking her up there with us?”
I don’t have to ask who he means. “She’s paying good money. We need it. I need it.”
“I get that. Money’s not worth much if you’re dead, though.”
I shoot him a sharp look. “I’m not planning on dying. Neither are you.”
“No one ever does.” He kicks at a loose stone, sending it skittering into the darkness. “But those mountains…they got a way of changing plans, don’t they? What if we find—”
“We’re finding nothing,” I growl. “It’s been three years. There’ll be no sign of her sister. We’ll get up there, get as far as Benson Hut and turn around. She’ll see it’s a dead end, a lost trail. We come back here, I get my money, and she can try and wrangle some closure out of it.”
“So we’ll both have to live a lie.”
“Eli, I know this might not come easy to you, but I’ve been lying most of my life. And every minute you work for this ranch, you’re living a lie too.”
We walk in silence for a while, the only sound the crunch of our boots on the frozen ground. The barn looms ahead, a hulking shape against the night sky.
“She’s looking for something,” Eli says finally. “Something she’s not telling us. I think it’s more than just her sister.”
“Everyone comes to the mountains looking for something.” My voice comes out rougher than I intend. “You know this. You’ve seen this. Closure. Redemption. A way out.”
He gives me a sidelong glance. “And what are you looking for, Jensen?”
I clench my jaw, staring straight ahead. “Not looking for anything but a way to keep what’s mine.”
It’s the truth, but it feels like a lie. Because what I really want is something I can’t even put into words. Something I haven’t let myself want in a long, long time.
Eli just nods, like he hears all the things I’m not saying. “Well, for all our sakes, I hope you find it.”
We reach the barn, the horses shifting restlessly in their stalls as the wind whistles through the aisles. I pause with my hand on the door, looking out at the mountains. They loom in the darkness, ancient and unknowable. Hiding their secrets in deep pockets. Hiding their history in blood.