Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 115400 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115400 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
“Thirty years is a long time.”
“It is,” he agrees. “And yet, it hardly feels like enough.”
I nod, not knowing how it feels to lose your parents, but knowing all too well what it’s like to grow up without them. “I should never have judged you, Killian. Seeing all of that . . . It was a lot to take in, and it chilled me to the bone knowing what you’re capable of doing, but I don’t believe you’re the type of man to hurt another unprovoked.”
“I am not.”
I raise my chin just enough to capture his lips in mine. “Okay,” I tell him. “Then I’m ready. I’m ready to love you despite the fear of the unknown, despite the world you live in, and despite the people who actively wish to work against us. I’m ready to truly make this work.”
26
KILLIAN
Chiara sleeps soundly in my bed as I sit in the corner of my room, watching the way her chest rises and falls with each soft breath. She’s undoubtedly the most stunning creature I’ve ever laid my eyes on, but on the inside, she’s absolutely breathtaking.
Since the moment I brought her here, I’ve been focused on being prepared for her to love me, to hate me, to discover who I truly am. I didn’t take a moment to consider how I would feel if I were to reciprocate those feelings.
Last night while we spoke on the kitchen floor, it occurred to me that I wasn’t the only one fighting this alien feeling inside of me. Every touch with her is electrifying, every smile stops my heart, every fucking time she looks at me, I’m captivated.
I’m in trouble.
This is what I wanted, what I demanded from her. I brought her here to be mine, but I had no intention of it becoming anything more than a sexual relationship, and if it progressed well, possibly the woman who would give me a child.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish to fight this. I’ve always craved to have someone by my side who could love me despite my flaws, someone who would gift me her loyalty in exchange for my own, someone to share a life with, and now that it’s right there within reach, it’s suddenly the most terrifying prospect I’ve ever been faced with.
My world is no place for Chiara. She’s too good, too innocent, and if I’m not the one who destroys her, someone else will. Yesterday was proof of that.
I will go to extreme lengths to protect her, but already, Monica has been able to get to her twice. If I hadn’t been there yesterday, I don’t know what would have happened. Just being with her is putting her life at risk, and up until yesterday, I thought that was something I could deal with, just something that came with the territory.
Not anymore.
I can’t do it. I can’t be her shadow every moment of the day, and I can’t be the reason for her getting hurt. If something were to happen to her . . . fuck. I can’t handle it. I’m supposed to be stronger than this, but she’s making me weak. How am I supposed to be the head of this family while my every thought is focused on Chiara? How am I supposed to protect my people when all I want is to protect her?
Fuck.
The people in this world are either born into it or knowingly marry into it, but Chiara didn’t ask for this. She didn’t sign up for a life of fear. She didn’t want to be in a world where she would constantly have to watch her back. I forced this on her, and now I’ve put her in a position where just being the woman who stands at my side is detrimental to her survival.
I won’t always be there to protect her. Despite how much I want to, it’s not physically possible, and there’s only so much training I can offer. Monica was able to strike in the blink of an eye in the ladies’ bathroom, but what could she concoct given time? She almost killed her in a spur-of-the moment attack, and even though I plan to deal with Monica, and she will soon cease to be a problem, what about the next threat? What about the next enemy who chooses to use Chiara to get to me?
Yesterday the shooter missed her by mere millimeters, but what would have happened had I been in a meeting or just simply a moment too late? What if Krista had gotten hurt in the process? What if I’d lost both of them?
Despite my needs and desires, there’s only one true way to protect her. I need to let her go.
I need to offer her freedom and give Chiara the chance at a real life away from the dangers of mine. Despite how right it feels to have her by my side, I have to break her heart. I have to make her leave and never look back.