Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 142916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Benedek heard the reprimand in her voice as if he were a foolish boy choosing combat with monsters for the fun of it.
Is that what you do? Silke caught his thought.
His first inclination was to protest. He was a Carpathian hunter without emotion. He had been doing his duty for centuries. The idea that he was intentionally risking his life for fun was ludicrous and somewhat insulting. He remained silent, his gaze burning over the old woman.
There was silence in the room, other than the crackling of the fire. No one spoke. Fenja sat very straight in her chair, her thin body nearly transparent. She had lived lifetimes, perhaps not the way he had, but she had seen the changes in the world and adapted to them. She had to. She lived her life surrounded by others.
Benedek didn’t pay much attention to modern ways. He took information from people’s minds and learned rapidly, keeping up with the times. But he didn’t live around others and had never had a desire to do so. He knew he was a dangerous, aggressive man. The human men he’d encountered were often ones he considered petty and childish or perverted men who needed to be removed. He’d been bringing justice for so long in his society that it was difficult not to do the same in the human one. His solution had been to avoid them as much as possible.
But to say he was purposely endangering his life when he didn’t have to?
You aren’t protesting or explaining further, Silke pointed out. Her voice was gentle. Compelling. An invitation to a discussion.
Benedek found himself turning inward, examining his motives. His true characteristics. He hadn’t changed the way he fought vampires other than to become more aggressive. Fenja was right in that he sought them out and faced them without thinking beyond the combat. The battle. That rush he had gotten once the whispers of temptation had ceased and he’d spent centuries in a gray void.
He’d killed too many times, taken all those lives. It may have been a life of duty that he’d chosen and lived with his code of honor, but one didn’t take lives without repercussions. He had been aware of that all along. His brethren in the monastery discussed the topic often and how they had all gone over that line. He knew when he began to feel the rush in combat, that he often prolonged the battle to keep that feeling going. He also knew the scars on his soul were irreparable.
He hated to admit that Fenja was right. He hadn’t tried to find alternative ways of destroying the undead because he wanted—even needed—to feel that rush. To feel something. He had become addicted to that brief moment in time when his world was no longer simply a void.
I have you to consider.
“Perhaps if you came up with different methods of fighting the undead, there would be fewer injuries to your fellow hunters as well,” Silke said aloud. “That would enable you, especially in the war with Lilith, to be far more effective.”
He didn’t need her to tell him that, and she knew it. She was speaking out loud for the sake of her mother.
“I see your point, Fenja,” he conceded. “I believe modernizing the way we destroy the undead would be the intelligent thing to do. I’ll give it some thought. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”
It was the right thing to say to Silke’s mother. He felt Silke’s instant caress stroking along the walls of his mind. When he rested his gaze on her, she had a look on her face that lit his world. She looked at him like he was a white knight, someone she admired and respected. Someone she was beginning to feel real affection for. He found he wanted affection from her. In the beginning, he thought having her loyalty and respect would be enough. Now he knew that wasn’t so. He wanted much, much more.
“I don’t know how you’ve managed, Silke, but you changed my life. My way of thinking.” He turned his attention to her mother. “Fenja, you raised an incredible person. She’s far more than I ever could have imagined.”
Silke blushed. He liked that faint rose color flooding her skin. She looked even more beautiful to him.
Fenja inclined her head. “I agree she is exceptional. But I can’t take the credit. I wish I could. She’s brought me more joy, more happiness and contentment, than I knew existed in this world. I know she’ll do the same for you.”
“Okay, you two, you’re embarrassing me. I’m not all that.”
“You’re all that to me,” Fenja said firmly. Again, she turned her gaze on Benedek. “She has all the confidence in the world when it comes to fighting demons, but she lacks it in other areas. You’ll need to be aware of her insecurities and help her.”