Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 142916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
The bottom line was he didn’t believe she would stay with him. No one ever stayed. He’d lost his family when he was just a baby and then again when he was a young man. Women didn’t stay. Neither did friends.
“Benedek.” Her voice was gentle. “You have friends who travel with you and know they are going into a battle where they very well could be killed. Why do you suppose they are doing that?”
He had no ego and wasn’t the least embarrassed that she read his thoughts. He was honest with himself. He always had been. “They are hunters. They exist to destroy every vampire preying on humans and Carpathians alike.” It was that simple. “It is their duty and they would never shirk it. They wouldn’t want to.”
“True,” she agreed. She ran her fingers up and down his forearm. “That’s very true, but they wouldn’t have to travel here. When you aided your brethren, and I saw in your memories that you had, you did so willingly and without reservation. Did you go to their aid out of simple duty?”
He opened his mouth to answer but closed it before any thoughtless words could escape. He owed it to her to always tell the truth. He would admit to her that he omitted things until he believed she was ready to handle them, but only to make it easier on her. This was something altogether different. She brought up an interesting question.
He had a fondness for the brethren he’d spent time with in the monastery. He hadn’t recognized it as affection or even fondness until his emotions had been restored. That was so recent that he was still evaluating.
He knew his brethren wouldn’t consider that the reason they traveled together was because they cared for one another. They weren’t capable. Or were they? More than once it had been implied that they felt, but there was a disconnect between their emotions and their consciousness. He trusted Nicu implicitly. He was learning to trust Mataias, Tomas and Lojos. The triplets had certainly proven numerous times they could be counted on.
“I don’t know the answer to that,” he admitted.
“You don’t trust anyone very easily. That’s why you’re worried about our union. I thought it was because of me. I thought that you weren’t thrilled that the universe put us together.”
Was there hurt in her voice? No. But it was there in a tiny part of her mind. He wrapped his palm around the nape of her neck and drew her closer. “I wanted you the moment I felt your energy. When I saw you in the doorway of your home protecting both Tora and your mother from unknown watchers, I knew you were meant for me.”
“You didn’t want me,” she insisted, looking up at him. Straight in the eye. No flinching.
He refused to back down from the truth. He hadn’t believed in lifemates. In some ways, he was a fraud. “I have been both predator and prey, Silke. It is much better to be the predator, and ever since I was a young man, I honed every skill to become the ultimate predator.” He gave that to her, hoping she would understand. He didn’t want to go into his past if it was possible to avoid it. If he did, he would have to confess the things he’d done. Not yet.
Silke’s blue gaze didn’t leave his. She didn’t flinch at this confession, but then he hadn’t gone into detail about what he’d become. She was uneasy around him because she sensed he was no longer fully Carpathian. She had the instincts of a slayer and she scented the beast growing in him.
“I don’t say things to you that aren’t the truth. There cannot be lies between lifemates. I am the one demanding trust and loyalty from you. I did not come to this place with any expectations, but once I saw and felt you, once I was in your mind, I knew you were meant for me. That doesn’t mean I find this easy. I trust few people, yet here I am, demanding trust from you.”
She tilted her head to one side, studying his expression. It was difficult to face her scrutiny when he knew she saw into him. He’d revealed more than he had intended. When this woman had returned his emotions, he recognized several from his youth. One was vulnerability. That was not acceptable. She made him feel that way.
He felt the predator rise to protect himself. The scars on his soul ached and pounded, reminding him how close he was to stepping over a line that should never be crossed. He felt the difference in her immediately. Silke tried to move away from him, taking a step back. He prevented it by keeping his palm curled around the nape of her neck.