Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
I can feel the Rift, Sallavatri says. Just like I feel you. But it's hurt.
I sit upright, fascinated. What do you mean, it's hurt?
It has pain, she tells me. It wants to sing with the rest of this world but it has pain and its song won't come out right. I bet we can help it sing right.
How? I ask. I'm aware of how foolish I am, asking an infant how to close the Rift. But Sallavatri and Luminoura are so in tune with this world that perhaps they know something I don't. Perhaps their instincts have given them a hint. How do I fix it?
You guide us, and we will make the Rift better, she says simply, as if that somehow explains it all.
Guide you how?
There's a sudden tug at my thoughts, as if my mind has become slippery and is skidding inside my body. I feel loose and unmoored, surrounded by a sensation of strength and purity. It's Sallavatri, I realize, and she's trying to pull me physically from my mortal form. The sensation is terrifying, and I push back as gently as I can. No, Sallavatri. Not right now.
Immediately, the tugging stops. I feel another mind touch mine—Luminoura—as if she is curious about the other child's actions. Can I help?
No, I tell them both sharply. No tugging.
It doesn't work, Sallavatri says, sounding disappointed. Your mind-voice needs to be louder.
Louder?
Loud like when Papa is in his battle-form, she says. You need to be in battle-form so your mind-voice is strong, like his.
I'm briefly insulted that she thinks my mind-voice isn't as loud as a mere drakoni's. Of course, he is her father, so naturally she would think he is strong. It takes me a moment to digest this, and then I realize what she is truly saying. You want me to switch to battle-form? I…cannot. Battle-form is corrupted in this world. I will lose control of myself entirely.
Most Salorians would deny they have a battle-form at all, but I know the truth of it. We do, every bit as strong as any drakoni. I know, because when I was laying in the rubble of a collapsed building, covered in burns and dying, I gave one last surge of my strength to try and lift a piece of concrete off of my chest. Instead of doing that, though, I shifted into battle-form.
And I lost myself.
I have no memories of what happened after that. Just fire, and madness, and the wind ripping against my wings…and then waking up here at the edge of Fort Dallas, energy spent and in utter agony. I think I was in battle-form for some time, as some of the worst of the burns had healed up, but I don't know more than that.
I'm terrified of it happening again. I have no mate to bring me back. I have not shared fires with anyone, so there is no mind to anchor to me and keep me safe, no one to call me back to myself like Gwen does with Vaan, or Rachel does with Jurik. If I shifted into battle-form, there's a chance I would never return to myself again.
That's the way you can be strong enough, Sallavatri says again. That's the only way.
What if there are more of you? I counter. More minds like yours and Luminoura? There are more children coming soon.
I don't know, Sallavatri tells me. All I know is what I feel.
Then let's wait, I soothe. We will wait and see what it feels like when the others are born. Maybe you won't need me in battle-form after all.
I hope she doesn't. If she does, I'm not sure I'm the one that can sacrifice himself for the good of everyone here. If this world depends on me…
Well…it shouldn't.
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
MELINA
Azar frees the captive drakoni. Of course he does. He's been backed into a corner by me. He knows that if he doesn't do this, there's no chance at all for us. So he releases them and makes it all sound like it was his idea in the first place, that he's come to some big realization that they aren't needed moving forward.
Bullshit. It's all bullshit.
I'm a little disgusted at how everyone buys it. Jenny's pleased because she thinks she won some big battle. Azar's pleased because now he's got Jenny and her dragon and the baby they're going to have. In addition, two of the captive dragons flew off with local girls, so that means more mated couples and possibly more babies, all of which plays into Azar's plan.
Why does it feel like I'm the only one getting fucked over in all this?
Doesn't matter. I won't let Azar walk all over me. That night, I stay in my clinic again. I put a cot in my office and lock the door, and try to go to sleep without Azar's warm, reassuring presence by my side. Even though I'm exhausted, I still find it hard to drift off. I won't back down, though. I know what's right and what's wrong, even if Azar doesn't, and I refuse to support his actions even one iota.