Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
I'm in a crappy, crappy mood when I close up the clinic at sunset and head back to the barracks, only to be confronted by a meal of stewed tomatoes and noodles, my least favorite meal. Food is food, though, so I do my best to pick at it and eat, since there are others less fortunate than me that would love to have my dinner.
Once we're both finished and our plates are cleared away, Azar gives me a speculative look. "Are you well?"
"Of course?" I manage a bright smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Azar doesn't buy it. His eyes narrow as he regards me. "You seem distracted tonight. Is something troubling you?"
I shake my head. "Just thinking."
"About your promise from last night?"
I go still, watching him. Did I promise him another round last night? I can't remember. All I can think about is how his hot, eager mouth felt on my body. I've never come so hard. Never. Sex shouldn't be a deciding factor in our weird, strange relationship and yet I can't stop thinking about sex. I can't stop thinking about how he'd volunteered and didn't request anything of me in return. I think about what it meant and if we're going to do it again, and I'm terribly distracted. "I…"
"If you do not wish to teach me, then simply say so." His expression is shuttered, closed.
Oh. He's thinking of the reading lessons? Here I am thinking about his tongue and he's got his mind in a completely different arena. I feel like a fool. "I meant what I said. I'll help you learn how to read and write." I offer him a small smile. "I assume you wish to keep it secret between us?"
Azar nods once. "I don't like others knowing my vulnerabilities lest they use them against me."
You mean like you did to me? I want to snipe, but I don't. Maybe I just don't feel like arguing. I'm so tired of fighting and having to struggle sometimes that I'm conflicted. Some days I'm so angry at Azar I could scream, and others…others I'm glad. I'm glad that I'm safe and protected and pampered. I'm glad that he's taking care of me and making sure my clinic has supplies and my belly is full. It feels good that there's one less struggle on my plate, and then I feel guilty for thinking that.
I'm just a big, conflicted mess around this man. But I get not wanting to be vulnerable. Boy, do I get it.
"I won't say a thing," I promise him. "It'll be our secret. When do you want to start?"
His gaze locks onto me, and he just…stares. It's such a heated, thoughtful gaze that I want to squirm in my seat. Is he thinking about sex? About how he'd gone down on me last night? Azar watches me so intently that I grow breathless and my pulse speeds up. My pussy clenches on nothing at all, and I know that I'm growing slick. All from a stare, which is insane. "I should like to start now," he finally says, voice soft. "Tonight."
"Of course." Why do I feel a twinge of disappointment?
I get to my feet and run my hand down the front of my dress as the skirts slither into place. I keep waiting for the novelty of wearing such princessy, prom-like dresses to wear off, but it hasn't yet. They're impractical, of course, but they're also cool to wear in the summer heat and I love the feel of the fabrics. I guess I like being pampered. It's another part of this deal that I thought I would hate but actually enjoy…just like his mouth.
Good lord, am I going to think about his mouth constantly? I really am a mess.
Clenching my hands to focus my thoughts, I head out of the dining room and down the hall toward the library. Azar follows a step behind me, and I'm acutely aware of his presence, waiting for him to put his hand on the small of my back, or to touch my shoulder, but he doesn't. I make it all the way into the library and manage to keep my expression serene as he picks up a lighter and ignites the candelabra, illuminating the heavily shelved room. I glance around. I've been in here a few times but it never feels like a comfortable space. Since it's a converted store, the ceiling is high, the floor is cold and bare, and the crammed shelves are full of shadows. The seating here isn't the most inviting, with ornate wooden chairs at an equally fussy wooden table and that stupid globe near the window. It looks as much like a proper library as it can, but it doesn't look lived in. It looks like a library would be if someone was pretending to be human…which, I suppose, Azar is.