Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Immediately, she follows that chain of thoughts. Salorians. I leave it all open to her, knowing she will hate it. I show her both the good and the bad. I show her the beautiful stone cities we have built, the elegant people that dwell in them, and how I have risen in the ranks to make something of myself despite my low birth. And because I am hiding nothing from her, I show her the drakoni slaves as well, the people who have chosen to serve, but more than that, those who serve without a choice. How they are treated. How even a general such as myself did not treat them as people, but as troops to be expended.
She pulls back, and I sense her hesitation. Her searching changes, and she moves forward in my memories, digging for when I freed the drakoni recently. Of my feelings toward it. If she expected to see resentment, it is not there. I felt shame that she had discovered she was lied to. Shame that I am not the male she needs me to be. Shame that I was not able to free them before she found out the truth and thus earn her love. She seizes on a stray thought about the children of the drakoni, of Tunjozefren and Sallavatri, and rummages around, checking to see if I plan on enslaving them.
Never. I'm unable to keep silent, even as she digs through my deepest thoughts and memories. I never would, Melina.
What changed you? she asks.
Nothing changed me. I am the same.
You're not the same, she insists. I see your earlier memories and your thoughts, and they are not the same as they are now.
Interesting. She seeks an answer I'm not sure I have. I consider this. They…are my friends. They trust me to help them and guide them. I do not know that anyone has ever trusted me like that. It felt important not to break that trust. It felt…wrong. I think of now, with my too-drakoni fangs cutting into my lip, and my drakoni-like claws that have re-grown. I have spent the last week in battle-form, something no Salorian would willingly admit they can even do. I gave Melina my fires, just as a drakoni would. I have taken her as my mate.
I am…no different than them. The drakoni are the same as me. I might set myself above them because I live in a city and have refined manners, but the drakoni are the same people I am. It took nearly losing Melina to realize that.
Hmm, my mate says in my head, but her thoughts are warm. A moment later, I feel her smaller hand creep into mine, and she squeezes my fingers. It's a good answer.
I hold her hand as she continues to pry through my memories, sharing everything. The terror of my first days when I arrived on this side of the Rift, fearing I was to be hunted by both humans and drakoni. Learning to hide myself by pretending to be human. Ingratiating myself with nomads and then ruling them. Terrible, brutal actions I took in the past. I remain still for all of them, worried that she will find something, uncover some dirty secret that will be the tipping point and she will be done with me. I scarcely breathe the entire time, waiting.
Waiting for her to hate me. I know I have not been kind. I know I have done bad things.
No one is perfect, she tells me. You are a lot less perfect than most. Her mental voice is gently teasing. I'm not seeking to judge your past, but to understand. You can go through my memories too, if you like.
You'd trust me with that? I'm humbled.
Of course. I love you.
Even now?
Even now. Her reassurance is like a balm on my spirit. You've done terrible things in the past, that's true. But I think you're changing. We can move forward together, you and me—
Something unpleasant and wrong slithers into my open mind.
Groaning at the revolting feeling of it, I hastily erect mental barriers again, as quick as I can. It's like a tentacle of pure evil and destruction is pushing its way into my vulnerable thoughts, snaking in in the hopes that it can take over and anchor itself here. It looks for a spot to latch on, and I press back on it, determined not to give it anything. I grit my teeth as it worms through my mind, seeking fragility, a way to get to the children—
The children. It's the first time the thing has realized they exist, and I feel sick, as if I've somehow exposed them to it. Has he plucked their existence from my mind? From a memory I left exposed?
The tunneling, writhing darkness moves through my thoughts, burrowing like a worm—and then it spots Melina's mind, open and intelligent…and connected to me.