Total pages in book: 18
Estimated words: 17117 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 86(@200wpm)___ 68(@250wpm)___ 57(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 17117 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 86(@200wpm)___ 68(@250wpm)___ 57(@300wpm)
“Damian!” Arya answers cheerfully, and I sink down onto our bed, trying to get my breathing under control. “Are you home? We’re in the backyard.”
Starved for the sight of her, of my little family, I go to the window overlooking the ocean. We have a private beach several acres in the distance, but there is a swimming pool below and a lawn stretching down to the water. Arya and our four fully grown dogs are off to the side near one of my towering walls with gardening tools spread out around them on the grass. Suzanna jumps up and down, waving at me excitedly.
Benjamin is strapped to Arya’s chest.
I can’t reach them fast enough. Is it unusual that any time I’m in the same room with my wife and children, I can’t seem to draw a substantial breath? How have I gotten so lucky?
I don’t know, but I’m not going to test it any more.
If I’m going to be the best father and husband possible, I’ll have to trade one risk for another. The difference is, this new risk will make my family happy and that…that is invaluable. Greater than any amount of money or influence in the criminal world.
Suzanna runs toward me giggling and I toss her up in the air, catching her on the way down, before settling her on my hip. She’s got her mother’s big eyes and bigger heart. “Dada, we’re planting vegetables.”
The dogs sniff me and wag their tails. I try to pat each of them on the head without having to take my eyes off my beautiful wife.
Arya smiles at me from her knees, the strapless, pale yellow sundress she wears making her look like a ball of sunshine. Gorgeous. One arm is wrapped around the pouch that contains our sleeping son. “I thought it would be fun. And this way, it’s kind of like I’m going to the supermarket.” Her tone is eager, excited. “I can just walk outside and pick the produce.”
But the words she’s saying cause a pang in my chest.
Deep breath.
“Maybe…soon. You can go to the real market.”
Arya drops the spade in her hand, her expression perplexed. “What?”
Christ, the idea of leaving is obviously so foreign to her. I didn’t mean to keep her trapped inside these walls for so long, but our wedding day almost broke me. When I came so close to losing her, something inside me snapped and it has taken me five fucking years to even consider letting her leave. Five years.
I’m an obsessive bastard when it comes to my wife, but I’m going to make some gradual changes. As much as I don’t want to be like my father, I don’t want to be like Arya’s father, either, keeping such a beautiful soul under lock and key. She deserves better. I’m going to give it to her, no matter how much it fills me with terror.
Suzanna yawns and drops her head down onto my shoulder. “Let’s go settle them in for naps and we’ll talk.”
Arya nods, dazed, and we walk toward the house, side by side.
There is a lump in my throat the size of an egg just being this close to her. The tip of her nose is slightly sunburned and I want to kiss it. Want to hold her. Make love to her. Hard.
Having children means I’ve had to learn patience, but I don’t have it in great supply.
Upstairs, we lay Suzanna and Benjamin down in their rooms and they’re breathing evenly before their heads hit the pillow. This is peace. This is what it feels like and my wife has given it to me. Where would my life have led if she didn’t approach me that day on the subway steps? I shudder to think about it. It gives me nightmares.
Arya and I meet on the landing between the children’s rooms and I take her hand, leading her into our bedroom and closing the door, shoving her up against it with my body. Pushing up between her splayed thighs and groaning. I don’t kiss her. I can’t. Not if we’re going to have this important conversation. If my mouth touches hers, my already hard cock will come out and that has to wait. I need to tell her I’m going to be better. I need to tell her I’m going to make her happier.
“I missed you today,” she whispers, looking up at me through her lashes. “So bad.”
“Don’t make me fuck you,” I say, my breath turning ragged. “Not yet.”
She nods. “What did you mean that maybe I can go to a real market soon?”
I take her face in my hands, tilting it up. “For the last year, sweetheart, I’ve been selling off the business. Piece by piece. Today I handed over the keys to the bookmaking operation. And now…Arya, I’m done. I’m out.”