Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 107118 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 357(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107118 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 357(@300wpm)
A lump blocked my throat. I wanted to know what had made Hush this way. What had happened that made him live alone rather than look for or accept the love of another. But then, I knew I was a hypocrite. Because apart from Styx and Ky, no one knew about me. About my past. I had pushed everyone away, blaming the club for all the shit I’d gone through. But in reality, it was me. I shut everyone out. Kept what had happened in Mexico within me and shared it with no one else. Not even Ky and Styx knew the full extent of it.
My lower back and the tops of my thighs burned. Another secret I had kept to myself. Ky would never cope with that truth . . . why I had never, and was sure I could never bare myself to a man again.
I wasn’t even sure I could do this with Cowboy.
“Cher?” Cowboy asked, concern on his face.
I stared into his blue eyes, so open and truthful. “I . . .” I glanced away into the dying fire. “I’ve only ever been with him,” I whispered, hearing the crack in my voice just as a piece of wood snapped in the fire.
Cowboy turned to stone above me. I didn’t dare meet his eyes. But now that I’d opened my mouth and begun releasing the truth, I couldn’t stop. “He . . . After I came back from Mexico . . . I’ve never trusted anyone else. I . . .” I inhaled a breath. “I haven’t let anyone get close.” I counted to three, and then lifted my eyes to his. “Until you . . . and Hush . . . if he would just let me.”
“Cher,” he whispered, saying more in that one word than a million could say. He lifted his hand and slowly brought it to my face. He ran the back of his fingers down my cheek. “He hurt you . . .” Cowboy wasn’t asking a question. I knew Ky had told them some of my story. I just wasn’t sure how much.
A tear escaped down my cheek and I squeezed my eyes shut. Cowboy closed in, and I sucked in a breath when I felt him kiss away the damn drop. Cowboy lingered, his lips brushing against the skin on my cheek.
“You’re both so fucking broken,” he whispered. The tears I’d been fighting started to fall. Cowboy pressed his forehead against mine. He palmed my cheeks and brushed the droplets away with his thumbs. “From the minute we met you, I could see in you what I see in him every day . . . loneliness.” My chest tightened at his words. Because they were real . . . they spoke the truth. “Two people who are lost, two people who don’t know how the fuck to escape the darkness they’re living in.”
“Cowboy,” I said hoarsely and felt my chest start to rack with sobs. Ignoring his injury, Cowboy pulled me into his arms. I fell against him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
I cried.
I cried, allowing the pain I’d kept so deeply hidden to break through. Cowboy hushed me and stroked my back. My eyes grew sore from the tears, but I just clung on. Cowboy was offering me something I’d never accepted since I came back: a place to feel safe. A place of no judgment, where I could just fucking cry without explaining what happened there, why I ran, what I found out, who I lost.
I looked at the clock above the fire and saw that an hour had passed. Cowboy continued stroking my back. I blinked, my eyes dry and gritty from the tears. “Better?” he asked softly.
I ducked my eyes, letting out a single sharp laugh. “Sorry.”
He lifted my chin with his finger until I met his eyes. “Never, cher. Never fucking apologize.” Sadness flashed across his handsome face. “I know you’ve had it rough. I would never guess at how badly that cunt hurt you.” He threaded his hand through mine. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from how perfect they looked joined together. “But we would never do that to you.”
Cowboy looked right into my eyes. I didn’t know what he was looking for—maybe permission—but whatever it was, he must have found it, because he leaned forward, slipped his hand on my cheek, and kissed me. Fear stabbed at my chest as Cowboy’s lips stayed on mine. The darkness I lived with tried to force itself into my mind, between our mouths. But for once, for the first fucking time in all the years I had let it control me, I pushed it away and opened my lips.
Cowboy groaned and gently slipped his tongue inside my mouth. I shakily placed my hand on his cheek, feeling the stubble beneath my palm. His breath was warm against my face, his lips were soft, and his tongue danced with mine. I let him take control. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel . . .