Total pages in book: 194
Estimated words: 187754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 939(@200wpm)___ 751(@250wpm)___ 626(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 187754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 939(@200wpm)___ 751(@250wpm)___ 626(@300wpm)
It’s quiet for a moment, and then Thorin asks, “Are you saying you want to be romanced, wolf?”
I shrug as I scoop up a forkful of eggs. “It would be nice. So far, Seth’s been doing all of the heavy lifting.”
Seth grins at that while Thorin and Khalil both drop their forks as if I’d slapped them.
“Are you fucking kidding me, wolf? I dove into a frozen lake for you,” Thorin protests.
“You did,” I acknowledge as I bite my bacon in half. “Why do you think I haven’t been spitting in your food lately?”
Thorin rolls his eyes as if that doesn’t surprise him in the least.
We eat in silence, but I can tell the three of them are thinking about what I said. I’m thinking too, but not about that. Suddenly, it comes to me.
“I know what I want to do now,” I tell Khalil. The others perk up at that, their gazes swinging to Khalil and back to me.
“Yeah?” Khalil asks. His mood has soured ever since I told him he needs to step it up. “What’s that?”
“Gardening.”
“Come again?”
“I want to start a garden.”
“We have a garden,” Thorin retorts grumpily.
“But you haven’t grown anything, so I thought I could give it a try. Wouldn’t it be easier to stock up for winter if you grew your own produce right here?”
“Maybe.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem,” Khalil says firmly. “Thorin’s just being a prick.”
“Oh, so like usual then?” That earns me a scowl from him, and I blow him a kiss in return.
“We’ll have to go into town for the supplies,” Thorin reminds Khalil.
The three of them exchange a meaningful look, and my stomach sinks a moment later when it hits me with the force of a sledgehammer—the reason for their hesitation.
They still don’t trust me.
Here I am, giving them everything like a fool when they’re still holding back.
My eyes prickle, and the room spins faster and faster until I inhale a deep, steadying breath. “You know what?” I shakily say as I rise from the table. “Forget it. Fuck the garden. I…I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Sunshine—”
“I said forget it, Seth.”
I feel all three of their eyes on me as I hurry from the dining room.
I can’t let them see.
I can’t let them have another part of me they don’t deserve.
These tears that I know won’t spill but have never come so dangerously close to doing so before now. They don’t deserve a single one.
I haven’t been out on the lower deck since my first night when Thorin marooned me for not wanting to give it up. At the time, it was just another stage set for my death that I somehow escaped yet again.
Right now, it’s my sanctuary.
My legs are threaded through the wooden rails while my bare feet dangle over the unforgiving wilds below. It’s a clear day full of vivid colors, but I don’t see any of it. My forehead rests against one of the bars, and my hand clutches my turning stomach as I take rapid, deep breaths and tell myself this is better.
It would have never worked between us anyway.
I’m too fucked up to truly love anyone.
And they…well, it’s clear they are capable of caring deeply for someone other than themselves. Their bond makes me envious sometimes.
But our biggest obstacle isn’t them or even me.
It’s Ezekiel.
None of us can truly know what will happen when he wakes up.
We are reckless, making promises before that eventuality occurs.
“Damn, girl. I’ve been looking for your ass everywhere,” Khalil fusses, breaking through my chaotic and confusing thoughts.
I didn’t even hear the deck door open or him sneaking up on me. I lift my head and pray my face keeps my secrets as he drops his powerful body down next to me while facing the opposite way.
Our gazes meet, and he places a possessive hand on my naked thigh. I’m still only wearing Seth’s T-shirt, which is heavy with his natural scent of juniper and leather. Goose bumps spread in every direction from our point of contact, even as my heart cracks inside my chest. I tell myself it’s the breeze from being up so high.
Khalil may want me, but he doesn’t trust me.
“It was only a matter of time before we fucked up, but it seems I gave us too much credit in thinking it wouldn’t be this soon.”
“What do you want, Khalil?”
“I wanted to check on my girl.” I laugh at that as I stare out at the Cold Peaks without really seeing it. “And to say I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I ask casually—as if my fractured heart isn’t already trying to fuse itself back together. I hold it at bay.
“It’s been my pleasure to make you feel many things—desire, anger, hatred…happiness.” At that last word, I finally let myself look at him. “But I never dreamed of making you sad, Aurelia.”