Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 76309 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76309 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
“Since when did you do nice things? You realize you can only be nice if you don’t expect anything in return?”
He looks annoyed. “Renata. Come here.”
“Oh, go ahead, talk all bossy to me. Doesn’t mean I’ll listen.”
“Girl, that stubborn streak of yours is going to get you killed. Come sit next to me and take the damn paper before I change my mind.”
“No need to be so dramatic.” I go over, lowering myself down with plenty of space between us. “What’s so important anyway?”
He shoves the paper at me. “Read it.”
It unfolds into what looks like an invoice. “It’s actually a receipt?”
“No weapons involved. Read it.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re so damn bossy sometimes…” I trail off once I understand what I’m seeing here. I stare at it, taking in the numbers, the dates, all the detailed information, before I slowly look up at him. “Is this for real?”
His expression softens. “Thought it might makes things easier on you.”
“This is for three years.”
“I went overboard.”
“Lanzo—” I shove the paper back at him, blinking away tears. “I can’t take this. Grandpop can’t take this. He’d flip if he found out someone else paid.”
“Take the damn gift,” he says, shoving the paper away. “You can rip the receipt up if you want, but it’s been paid for already.”
I take several deep breaths before jumping to my feet. I stalk away, heart racing, and stare down at the paper again.
It’s an invoice from the home nursing company. Three years, paid up front, for full-time care.
That means Grandpop’s going to have all the helps he needs while I’m away and then some.
I keep blinking but the tears come anyway. I curse over and over, leaning against the wall, fist pressed tight. My knuckles hurt, the drywall digging into my skin. I keep staring at the invoice.
“I’m not sure how you’re reacting right now,” Lanzo says, sounding worried. “Are you happy? Pissed off?”
“Relieved,” I say, shuddering as a sob escapes my lips. “My god, so relieved.”
The relief is palpable. It’s like I’ve been sleeping on my arm for a decade and only just let the blood flow back into my fingers. Ever since Grandpop got sick, I’ve been drifting through my days, worrying about his health and doing everything I can to make his time easier. I’ve been his live-in nurse, more or less, having this full-time help is going to change my life in so many ways.
The relief is painful. It hurts, feeling this way. I hate myself for it. I shouldn’t be so relieved. I’ve been taking care of the man that took care of me my whole life, but now I’m so happy to get some help it’s actually painful. Guilt fights back against the relief, guilt over feeling this way, guilt over wanting to have my own life beyond Grandpop, even though I owe him everything and love him more than I’ve ever loved someone.
Lanzo comes over. He wraps his arms around me and, without saying anything, I sob into his chest. I hate it, but I need this release more than I realized. I don’t want to act weak in front of him, except I’m not sure this is weakness, more just an overwhelming emotional response to a deeply painful moment.
“I’m okay,” I say, pulling myself away from him, wiping my face. “I know that probably freaked you out.”
“I wouldn’t have done it if I knew it was going to upset you.”
“I’m not upset. I’m just—” How can I explain to him that I feel like I can breathe for the first time in forever? “I’ve been responsible for Grandpop ever since he got his diagnosis. We had some nursing help, but it’s always been me. And now he’ll get the care he deserves. I’m grateful.”
He nods slowly and wipes tears from my cheek. “I wish I could’ve done it sooner.”
“Learn to time travel then.”
“Working on it.” He seems serious about that. “I meant it when I said I’d take care of you.”
“I figured that meant room and board.”
“I do everything I can for people that matter to me.”
I let out a very undignified snort. “A little soon to be saying that, huh?”
“I’m not so sure.” He shakes his head, lingering. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” I look away, biting my lip. “Should I feel this way? Like I had a burden, but the burden’s been lifted?”
“You’ve been swimming upstream for a while now. This is what it feels like to get a rest.” He squeezes my hand. “Go ahead and enjoy it. You’re not turning your back on your Grandpop.”
I feel so utterly grateful to him for saying that. I wipe my face, taking deep breaths, and steel myself. “All right then, since Grandpop is officially taken care of, I guess I can start caring about this whole Burian thing.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “I didn’t realize you’ve only been half-assing it so far.”