Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79932 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79932 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
I blew out a breath, nodding. “I’m glad to hear it. As I’m sure you’ve learned, I’m impulsive. I react to my instincts because they’ve never let me down before, but the last thing I wanted to do was cross a line.”
“I get that,” she said. “Even though I’ve never had to think about something like this before. It’s not like someone purchases my place of work every other day just so we can go on unlimited dates.” She chuckled softly, shaking her head with this surreal look on her face.
“You’re not the only one in uncharted territory,” I said.
She arched a brow at me.
“You’re not,” I said between bites. “I’ve never been with a woman longer than a weekend, so everything about this is new.” I motioned between us. “Even if it’s fabricated, it’s the closest thing to the real deal that I’ve ever had. Bear with me if I continue to make missteps.”
Aspen caught my gaze across the table, something like understanding and pity in those irresistible eyes of hers.
“Can I be honest with you?” she asked, finishing the food on her plate before pushing it aside.
“I would appreciate that,” I said, swallowing my last bite a little harder than necessary.
She took a few sips of the soda water I’d set out for her, collecting her thoughts. “I know this is a ruse,” she said. “I know that we have a contractual obligation to each other and that this is just another business deal for you, but I genuinely enjoy being around you, Crossland.”
Something tightened in my chest.
“You’re fun personified, even if you are a cocky prick,” she said, smiling at me. “And you’re kind, perceptive. Your world is a lot sometimes, no doubt, but you’re worth spending time with. And it has nothing to do with your money or the NHL team you own.” She shrugged, reaching for her soda water again. “I just…wanted you to know that. In case the weekend partners you had before never told you.”
Fuck me.
I felt like I’d been nailed to the chair. I could do nothing but stare at her and wonder what the hell was happening inside my body right now. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to pull her into my lap and kiss the hell out of her or wrap her in my arms and fucking cry. Jesus, what the hell was happening to me?
I swallowed hard, honestly not sure what to say to that.
“Sorry,” she quickly added, shaking her head at herself. “That probably has more to do with my own bullshit,” she continued. “I’ve had countless people bail on me because of the baggage I carry, and I always told myself I’d never take the people in my life for granted. I know you’re here because of the deal, but still…I don’t hold things like that in.”
“I love that about you,” I said.
“Really?” She laughed. “I used to get punished for speaking freely like that.”
“Your parents?” I asked. She’d mentioned them before, in our initial one-on-one, and I knew they were estranged, but she hadn’t gone into full details on her upbringing.
“Yeah,” she said. “For the longest time, I was afraid to speak, even after I’d moved myself and Brecken out of the house. It took a shit-ton of therapy for me to understand that not everyone would punish me for having an opinion.” She tilted her head. “Of course, the few relationships I did have in those early days of healing didn’t help. I attracted men who made me feel small, men who said I embarrassed them if I colored my hair or said something sassy in public.” She rolled her eyes. “I was stuck in a pattern, I guess. At least that’s what my therapist said.” She shrugged. “Anyway, that’s why I haven’t had a relationship in years and why I never hold anything back anymore.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I said, having to clamp down on the instinct to track her family down and make them pay for what they’d done to her, then the ex-boyfriends. That wouldn’t be helpful to her.
“It’s fine,” she said, even though I knew it was anything but. “I bet you’re so glad you plucked me out of the crowd, huh?” she laughed, pushing away from the table and gathering our plates.
I quickly hopped up, gathering the leftovers to store them in the fridge. “I am,” I said as we made it to the kitchen.
She didn’t turn to look at me as she rinsed the plates before putting them in the dishwasher. She remained not looking at me after she was finished and I’d put the leftovers away, instead electing to look out of the glass doors that led to my balcony that overlooked the city. We were fifty flights up, with nothing but the sparkling city stretching out toward the horizon.