Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79932 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79932 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
“There has to be something you can do,” I said, but the loan advisor just looked at me like I was making the situation awkward.
If I didn’t figure out a way to get this loan, there was no way I could afford a second semester for Brecken. They wouldn’t approve us for financial aid, and she’d exhausted every grant application she could.
We were at an impasse.
I leaned my elbows on the desk, raking my fingers through my hair as I barely held back the tears enough to look the woman in the eyes. Maybe if I was open and honest with her, she’d do something with all that pity she was throwing my way. I normally kept my little sob story to myself, but I was out of ideas.
“Look,” I said. “I’ll get a second job if I have to. Hell, I’ll come work for you. I’ll clean your house, run your errands, or answer phones here. Please. I need this loan to make sure that my little sister gets the education that she’s worked her entire life for. I don’t want this money to buy a yacht or put a down payment on a house I don’t need. I want it so my sister can go to college. Can you understand that?”
The loan advisor furrowed her brow, pursing her lips enough that I thought she might be entertaining pulling some strings for me to get this loan.
But then she shook her head, and my heart completely broke.
“If there was something I could do, I would. But I can’t,” she said. “You have to qualify. You have to check the boxes, which you don’t. Also, we’re not hiring now, but you can keep checking in—”
I scooted away from her desk, the sound of the chair scraping against the linoleum cutting off her attempts at empty empathy. A couple tears rolled down my cheeks that I quickly swiped away, and I sucked in a deep breath before letting it out slowly.
“Thank you for your time.” I hurried out of her office, out of the building, and I kept walking, lost in the emotions strangling me.
I didn’t check the boxes.
No shit.
I hadn’t checked the boxes in high school, the teachers and advisors always disappointed in my tardiness or my inability to stay awake in class, never once asking me why I was so tired or why I always showed up late.
I hadn’t checked the boxes when I was thinking about going to community college because of my terrible grades in high school, and I certainly didn’t check the boxes at any of the higher paying jobs I’d applied to because of the same reasons.
It was one stupid, debilitating cycle that I was sick of being a part of.
I was smart where it mattered—sure, I couldn’t do quantum physics, but I could follow directions to a T and socialize like the best of them, even when my battery was drained. I was a hard worker, and I rarely complained, even when I had a constant stream of customers ready to call me an idiot for getting their seven-dollar coffee wrong. I never called in sick, and I always picked up extra shifts. I deserved that loan as much as Brecken deserved to get the education she’s always wanted.
I blew out of breath, pausing when I came to a bench and sat down, watching the hustle and bustle along the city sidewalks as people went to and from events, work, school, lunch dates, and who knew what else. There were people scamming other people for money every day, there were people selling products that broke seconds after opening the package, and there were people who stole and lied and cheated to get the money they needed, and here I was trying to do it the ethical way, and I couldn’t get approved because I didn’t check a couple fucking boxes?
I shook my head, anger overtaking the despair that was swirling inside me. I hated when my mind lashed outward, blaming the world for my problems rather than accepting that I’d failed somewhere along the way. I should’ve tried harder in school, should’ve ignored the exhaustion and pushed through, should’ve…should’ve…
My phone rang and I dug it out of my purse, prepared to send whoever was calling to voicemail. But it was Brecken, so I swiped the screen to answer.
“Hey Brec,” I said, forcing my voice into a normal tone.
“Hey, sis,” she said. “Guess what?”
“What?” I asked, a small smile lifting my lips at the sound of her voice. She sounded so excited.
“I got an A on my economics exam. Me and some friends are heading to the cafeteria to celebrate, but I couldn’t wait to tell you.”
“Nicely done! I know you were worried about that one.”
“Economics isn’t really my forte,” she said. “But now I can breathe.”