Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55839 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55839 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
I need to be the man who deserves her.
But how?
TWENTY-THREE
GREER
Roman’s become a fixture in my home. It’s different having him in my space. Yet, with each passing day, his presence has gradually grown on me, like a vine creeping up the walls of my heart. It’s something I’m getting used to. Something I’m actually liking. A little bit too much.
After we got home from brunch yesterday, Roman held me in his arms for the rest of the afternoon. Then, we made love all night long, and a weight settled deep in my chest. A weight of unease with my life. I feel like something’s not right. Something isn’t perfect.
That’s why I slipped out of the house before Roman woke up, and am heading to the one place I haven’t visited since I was a child—church.
I step into the church feeling a shift in energy, a sense of peace and reverence washing over me. I breathe in the subtle aroma of incense and let it out slowly. I admire the architecture, stained glass windows, and religious symbols as I pass each pew. The altar, the focal point of the chapel, is adorned with candles and fresh flowers. I feel myself drawn to the serene atmosphere and move closer toward it.
A man in black pants and a black button down shirt moves closer toward me. I realize quickly it’s the priest heading down the aisle.
“Welcome,” he says in a deep, comforting voice.
I nod my head. “I’m not really sure why I’m here.”
The priest steps closer with an aura of confidence and charm, drawing my attention to his striking features and magnetic presence. He has a chiseled jaw, piercing blue eyes, and a smile that lights up his whole face. He’s quite good-looking, but he’s got nothing on Roman.
“I’m Benedict Carmichael. Whether you’re here to explore your faith, seeking solace, or just curious about our community, we’re delighted to have you. Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have, or if you simply want an ear to listen to your problems, I can offer that as well.”
I let out a deep breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Thank you. I could really use somebody to talk to.” The words pour out of me. When I headed toward the church this morning I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for.
It wasn’t until Father Carmichael offered his ear that I knew exactly what I needed.
He smiles another genuine smile that puts me at ease. “Please sit down,” he says, leading me to a pew near the front of the chapel. The place is empty, quiet, and it makes me breathe easier. He doesn’t say anything else, obviously waiting for me to start.
And so I do, “I think I’m defending a guilty man, and I’m not sure I can do it anymore. I thought I loved my job, but how can I love something that makes me feel inadequate because I don’t have a man on my arm. I should be good at my job because, well, I’m really good at my job, not because I’m in a relationship.”
Benedict listens to me intently, and it feels so good to have somebody to talk to. Sure, I can talk to Roman but with his anxiety, I don’t want to put this on him. I know what he’d say. He’d tell me to do what makes me happy. However, I don’t know what that is. I like talking to somebody impartial.
“It’s important to feel a sense of pride in your work. To be awarded for that good work. It offers a sense of accomplishment. I understand. Let me ask you, are you happy with where you’re at?”
I think about his question. Working my way through law school was tough. Once I graduated and was offered the job at a big law firm, I was ecstatic. Now the expectations I had don’t live up to the actual life I have. “I’m not sure. I don’t even think I know what true happiness even looks like.” I think about my life. Have I ever been truly happy?
“Happiness isn’t found in material possessions or fleeting pleasures, but in cultivating a deep sense of purpose, connection, and inner peace. Take time to build relationships based on love, compassion, and understanding. Do you have anybody in your life that you feel you have a deep connection to?”
I nod, instantly thinking about Roman. “I do.”
“Remember, true happiness comes from aligning your life with your values and embracing the love and grace of a higher power. Trust in yourself to make the right decision. You know deep down the answers you’re looking for.”
He’s right. I know deep down what I should do. “Thank you, Father.” I smile at him, standing from the pew. “I appreciate you listening to me.”
He nods, staying seated in the pew. “You’re welcome back anytime.”